With our fourth baby being due in January (another winter month), we had to make plans far in advance about what to do when the time came. Much like with Anna's birth, we worried about the weather, getting to the hospital, and our childcare (my sister) getting here. Thankfully, those worries were for nothing, and there was no snow at all when Celia was born.
Once again, my sister came up to stay with our kids when Brian and I went to the hospital. My fifteen year-old niece Emily joined her, and she was a great asset all around. My kids love her, and I wish I lived closer to her and my sister's other daughter, Lindsey. I would have them over ALL THE TIME to help in the entertainment department. Not thirty seconds after Emily arrived, she had my boys running around and having loads of fun, and as soon as Anna woke from her nap, she joined in the wonderful chaos.
We decided to induce again, as we did with Anna, because we had the same concerns. Living about 2 1/2 hours away from family, we needed to make sure we had childcare available for our three kids. We never know when we'll go into labor or how fast labor will be, and it is hard rushing to the hospital when you have to wait for your childcare to arrive. Also, I needed time to show my sister where to find certain things, go over food/menu items, and just give my kids a little time to transition from my sister's arrival to our departure.
Another reason to induce was due to my getting COVID in December. Brian got it, either from school or a festival he had attended with students, and brought it home. We were surprised, having made it so long without getting it, and we didn't even consider it was COVID until I lost my senses of taste and smell. We took box tests, and BOOM, we were positive. I had new fears now of being pregnant with COVID, but my midwife reassured me that since my baby was nearly fully developed, there shouldn't be reason to worry. She did say it was preferred to give birth by my due date, as there can be negative effects on the placenta. So, there was reason #2 to induce. Since my midwife was on-duty two days before my due date, we decided to start induction that night.
It seemed once Christmas was over, I was in a flurry of preparations. We installed baby's car seat after rearranging and we moved Anna's seat over. I baked ahead of time and had some foods prepared for my sister to serve when I was away. I made and froze a dinner that I could just heat up the day we came home from the hospital. I made notes for my sister. Brian and I made a video for the kids, and we prepared a recordable book for Anna while we were away.
It was hard for me to leave Anna, knowing she didn't understand why I was going away for a few days. I bought her a Big Sister teddy bear, and I cried when we went to the car heading to the hospital. A pregnant mama is nothing if not emotional! My sister came here on June 9 (two days before my due date) with my niece Emily, and I quickly showed my sister around (food, thermostats, clothing, etc., etc., etc.) She did this three years before when I had Anna, but needed a refresher course!
We left for the hospital at 5 p.m., needing to arrive by 6. It is a good 50 minute drive at the minimum in busy traffic, and we managed to get there at about 6. We parked, got our luggage out of the car, and proceeded to head for the crosswalk. I am sure, even in the dark night, the street lights showed a man, a woman with a large belly, and suitcases headed for the hospital, there was no need for drivers to wonder what we were up to. Traffic stopped on both sides, and they allowed us to cross the street in peace.
We got all checked in and headed, for the fourth time, to the same little maternity ward where we delivered our first three. We were greeted right away by a friendly, exuberant nurse named Harmony, and I thought the name suited her just fine. We were sent to the same room where we had given birth to Caleb ten years before in May.
I got all readied up, suited up, bloodwork taken, hep lock installed in my arm. (I always hate those dreadful things.) I was given a GI pill that can cause contractions to start. I was to take a small dose every four hours. Then in the morning we'd see what to do from there.
Well, if I thought contractions would start right away, I would have been immensely disappointed. Having been induced with both Caleb and Anna at night, and having had them both the morning after, I had thought, perhaps stupidly, that the same would occur. I expected a baby by morning. One of the hardest parts of labor is not only the physical pain, but the mental battle, the war with your own thoughts, the attempt to remain positive when your spirits are failing. This was my main struggle this time around.
My bed had been prepped for labor, so the cushion was off, and somehow the nurses expected a large pregnant woman to sleep on this thing. Um, no. Brian faired much better on the father pull-out bed. Sleep eluded me, and I couldn't get in a comfy position to save my life. Then, at about 3 a.m., I heard another woman in the throes of labor, yelling and moaning and all the rest, and it just got to me. Always in the middle of the night, things are the hardest. I was tired, I was hoping for labor to start and yet dreading the pain, and then I get to hear another woman nearing her big moment, and it just about undid me. I heard her pain, and I was thinking, "NO! I can't do this!" For a few foolish moments, I thought about an epidural, something I have always been against. Things can go wrong with those, and I have terrible scoliosis, so a needle in my spine doesn't sound pleasant At All. But, not feeling pain sounded heavenly, so I considered it. In the sleepless night, my anxious heart considered it. When morning came, common sense found me again, along with the light of day.
So as daylight approached, so did the nurses, my midwife, and a new plan. Would I like to proceed with Pitocin or have my water broken? Knowing the breaking of the waters did nothing for me last time, I opted for Pitocin. When I started that with Anna, labor took off. If I had thought the same would happen this time, I would have been sadly mistaken. Which I was.
Hours went by. Brian and I were wishing we had packed board games. Nothing was going on. The monitor that I was hooked up to revealed I was having contractions, but I wasn't feeling anything at all, except maybe a little tightening here and there. I was sad at leaving my kids behind only to be sitting here doing nothing. I worried about my sister and pulling her away from her family, when I wasn't even in labor. I had all sorts of things running through my head, and I was ready to get going. My nurses were encouraging me to leave behind my worries, thoughts about home and kids, and focus on my baby. They were wonderful, and I easily bonded with them. One of them came to me in the later afternoon and suggested I take a shower- as a fresh start of sorts. Of course, it wasn't easy being hooked up to the IV and I had to bring my pole with me, but they were right. A shower was nice; it felt good and was refreshing.
After they helped me get out of there, they encouraged me to hit the floors. Time to start walking! This was probably around 5 p.m. or so. My contractions were FINALLY beginning to strengthen. I put on my sneakers (I remembered wearing my slippers while walking to deliver Anna, and that was not good for my legs), and Brian grabbed the IV pole, which had to come with us. We held hands as Brian guided me and the pole, around and around the small square hallway, reliving all the previous births. All three of our children were born within these walls, and soon our fourth would be too. It was all so beautiful, so overwhelming.
This is as good as it gets for us for dates. Since we don't live near family, we really don't have babysitters, so going on dates for us is impossible- except when we go to the hospital to deliver another child! So we tried to make the most of the walking, me holding my very large abdomen, breathing heavily, Brian guiding me and my pole, and just trying to talk about anything to keep up my spirits.
I would have to go back to the room to take breaks and get back on the monitor so the nurses could monitor Celia's heart rate. They always told me she looked beautiful, and there were no worries there whatsoever. So back and forth, between the halls and the room we went, until it finally got too intense. Time for staying in the room, Brian rocking with me, singing to me, holding me through the increasing contractions. No more small talk or chit chat- just hold me up through this!
My midwife and nurses left me alone for a time, and finally I was dying to know how far I was dilated. When the nurses popped in, I asked for a check. After a bit, I found out I was seven centimeters. Time to start prepping, because things were going to happen quickly. But, the toll of the day was wearing on me. It was a long night. It was a long day. Mentally, I was zonked. I had long thought the baby would have been born, being that I was induced. One of my nurses suggested a quick round of pain med, just to calm me down, and give me strength for the end. She said she did it herself the year before. Well, that got me. I was so determined to have no pain meds (as I did for Silas and Anna), that I wanted to do the same this final time. But I was so weary. I said, okay, but half the dose. So my midwife called out to the nurse to lessen the normal dose. A drowsiness came over me, as it is meant to. It gave me a rest, so to speak. I still felt the pain, but it didn't control me quite as much. But it was brief, very brief. It wore off all too quickly, and then it was game on. No more stalling. This was it. I got into position, nurses all around, midwife at my feet, my husband by my side. I flipped to my knees at one point to move baby forward a bit, then went back to normal. I was panting for air, so thirsty. I asked Brian to give me water himself with his own hand, because I had no strength for anything else but to push this baby out. I was hot, asking the nurses to help me off with my robe.
I was pretty good at the breathing, and using my moans to push my air out. My nurse even complimented me on my moaning later, saying that I did well with it. I guess by the fourth time you get better at these things! The baby was getting closer; my midwife could see her head. But goodness, we still weren't there. Everything in a laboring mama is screaming "Get this baby out of me! I cannot do this ANY MORE!" And I did scream quite a few things that made me sound like a lunatic, I am sure. But I did have a moment of peace, where my life verse came out of my lips, from Isaiah 43: 1-3. And my nurses all hushed in that moment, to listen to those words. One of them told me later that it was a beautiful moment.
I had to let go of Brian's hand. The baby was getting closer, and he wanted to catch her. So a nurse took his place and held my hand. I pushed and pushed. Screamed all the way. And then, a wonderful, beautiful, precious, slippery, sweet bundle came forth from my depths of my womb and into the air, the world, and her Daddy's arms. Quickly, he passed her to me. My prize. My victory. My joy. Celia Joy. Born at 7:34 p.m.
I was sort of slumped into the bed, which was seated upright, and I couldn't get a good view of her. I asked the nurses to please help me sit up higher so I could get a better look at this beauty. And oh, she was beautiful, and her name which means "heaven" did not fail to suit her. A cherub indeed she was.
So I did what all mamas do: looked her over, kissed her sweet face, breathed her in. I welcomed her into the world, told her her name and why we named her so. I looked up to heaven and reminded the baby that I lost that I still love them too.
I held her for quite a while the nurses did what they needed. My two faithful nurses who were with me all day and my midwife as well, left pretty quickly. I found out they stayed though their shifts ended over two and a half hours ago, but they wanted to see me through. I was blessed indeed.
Celia took to nursing with hardly any prompting. So that was a blessing right there for this nursing mama. I finally let them take her for her vitals, not out of the room but just right there, while I had a breather. I was starving. I hadn't eaten much all day, and I missed dinner by this point. I eat a mostly Paleo diet at home and little store-bought junk, but one of the nurses offered me some egg nog ice cream they had in the freezer (remember this was 2 weeks after Christmas), and I took it. I was just so hungry, and I love egg nog! They brought one for Brian but he hates egg nog, so I ate his too. Hey, there were just those little individual cup things, and I thought I deserved it. It was good!
We didn't get much sleep that night. Those hospital beds are of the devil, and newborns never sleep right after they are born. I couldn't wait for breakfast. Coffee came with my meal, but Brian went ahead and bought me the biggest coffee he could get at the cafeteria. At that moment, it was the most delicious thing in the world.
We spent the day enjoying our Celia, taking photos, and dealing with the videos the hospital makes you watch every time you have a baby. Brian left late in the day to go home to help my sister with the kids. He would come back the next day to take us home.
At one point, they worried about Celia's bilirubins, and thought she might have jaundice as Anna did, but her bloodwork finally came back in the clear and we could go home.
As anxious as I was to get home, I couldn't help but pause. My first and last were born in that room. My middle two were born in the same room across the hall. Four lives that came from my body, born in this place. I felt the sacredness of that moment, of knowing my four babies took their first breaths within these walls. It was so beautiful, I almost didn't want to leave. My heart was full, so full. Never did I think when I entered those walls ten years ago that I would one day leave with four children.
God can do above whatever we think or imagine, if only we are open to His doings.
"Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the LORD thy God.." Isaiah 43: 1-3
