Brian and I picked out our wedding bands last July. He wanted to go to the same place where he got my engagement ring. I knew that my husband wanted matching rings, and I liked that idea, too, but as a female, I wanted to examine all my options. I remember first thinking it would be nice to have a band with diamonds. As the salesperson was telling us that when the ring is worn without the engagement ring, it is nice to have some diamonds on it. I thought that might be true, for about two seconds.
There is something so lovely about a plain, simple wedding band. A circle with no embellishments, nothing at all to catch one's eye or even provoke a compliment. As I tried on various wedding bands, there was something about the plain band which spoke to me of what marriage really is. I think marriage is more about the simplicity of the everyday routine than the occasional candlelight dinner or walk at sunset. Marriage is seeing someone when they first wake up in the wee hours of the morning, without any help from cosmetics, hair products, or even a toothbrush. Marriage is seeing the person you have chosen to cleave to in their worst moments. We may hide our faults before others, but can we hide the yuckiest parts of our hearts from our mate? Someone wise once told me that marriage is like looking in a mirror, for it is in that relationship that we truly see who we are.
In that moment, standing at the counter in the jewelry store, I may not have thought of all of this as clearly as I am writing it now, but I did think for a brief moment that a plain band reflected just what the marriage relationship is: a celebration of walking through life with the one you love during life's most mundane moments as well as the grand. It's about loving someone with all their faults and allowing yourself to show yours, without putting on airs.
So Brian got his wish that day. Our bands are plain, but they look alike, except for size, of course. :) Then the salesman turned to us and asked what we wanted engraved on our rings. We both looked at each other and realized the thought hadn't occurred to us at all! Our nice salesman said we could get back to him in a few days while we decided.
It didn't take us long. We already had this verse on our wedding program, and we thought it would be appropriate on our rings. After all, why get married if either party is not better off than before? I am better because Brian has qualities that I need and vice-versa. We are better together than we are alone. Christ molds and shapes us individually through the example of the other. We extend grace and forgiveness to one another continuously, much like our Savior does for us every hour.
I'll leave you with a few words from Henry Van Dyke's poem, "A Mile With Me."
And who will walk a mile with me
Along life's weary way?
A friend whose heart has eyes to see
The stars shine out o'er the darkening lea,
And the quiet rest at the end o' the day,--
A friend who knows, and dares to say,
The brave, sweet words that cheer the way
Where he walks a mile with me.
With such a comrade, such a friend,
I fain would walk till journeys end...
