Introduced by our friends- my best friends from college, Shawn and Theresa (and Shawn was Brian's pastor), the initial meeting was, well, awkward. But the second night, Theresa left Brian and me at the kitchen table to talk while she got her kids ready for bed. It was that conversation that shaped our relationship. We learned much about each other, including how like-minded we were.
One of the things that we discussed was homeschooling. We both wanted to do that for our children. Score! I didn't yet know it, but I was on my way to having a husband who would build a family with me just as I dreamed of.
Along with home school, of course, comes Mommy staying at home with her little ones. It is our belief that Mommy should be home, shaping her children, and not shoving them off to day care and letting them do the work. My sister has a friend that works at a day care, and she described how SAD it is to watch parents drop their kids off to leave them ALL day.
(Please understand that when I write this, I know that some people have no choice, especially single parents. However, many DO have a choice, and do it anyway.)
An acquaintance of ours had a baby this past October, and this baby just went off to day care for the first time as his mother's maternity leave was over. (Please know there is very, very little likelihood of this person ever reading this blog. As I said, it is an acquaintance. Not a close friend, just someone we know of.)
We saw on this person's social media a picture of the baby, all dressed and ready for day care in the morning, with a note that said the parents were handling it okay. Hours later, the mother wrote in to say that she was NOT handling it okay, and she, in fact, hated it.
My heart broke for her, as well as the baby. His life was forever changed in one morning, and it would never be the same again. And she is suffering the pangs of separation, all while trying to focus on her work.
My eyes welled up with tears more than once, and yet, my heart was filled with THANKFULNESS. I am so thankful for my husband who works hard for us, so that I can stay home with our boys. I could not send them off to day care; I could not.
Brian and I choose to live simple lives. We could have a six-digit income, too, if I went to work. We could have a bigger house and better cars. We could at least get rid of my '93 Geo Prizm, which is currently sitting with a dead battery in our driveway. (I mean absolutely dead. As in the power locks won't work.) We could have it all if we wanted. Or could we?
If I went to work, I would only see my boys for a couple of hours each evening before their bedtime. And I am thinking of my last job as a teacher- somehow I'd have to find the time to grade countless essays and lesson plan, all while trying to care for my boys and my home. Let me tell you, even as a stay-at-home mom, with two little ones and Silas needing constant care (ie: I can't leave him on the floor to roll around while I go about my business as he will roll into furniture), I still don't get everything done. I could give you a LIST of projects around this house that I need to complete. I do well with the daily chores, yes, but there are cleaning projects I definitely could stand to do.
But... but... we are all here together. That is what matters most to Brian and me. Brian leaves for work each day with the satisfaction that his boys are in their mother's tender care. They aren't left with strangers at day care, wondering how they will be treated, or what ungodly behavior they will learn/pick up from others. He comes home at night, looking forward to seeing the three people he loves most on this earth, all snug and safe in our own home.
We only get one shot to raise our children. Studies have shown that the first five years are the most important in a child's life. Our influence as parents is key. Sure, I'm flawed. I could give you a LONG LIST of things in myself that need improvement. I am a sinner and I know it. However, God chose me, flawed as I am, to be these boys' mother. It is my job, and I am thankful to do it.
While life isn't perfect here, I am content. I would not go to work if I could. There is a day care right down the street, and we often tell the boys when we drive by, "This is the day care where you would go if Mommy went to work. Let's be thankful Daddy works so hard so you don't have to go there."
"Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to be home with my sons. Help me to be the godly mother you want me to be, and help me and Brian raise these boys to be godly men. We only get one chance, Lord. Help us not to squander it. Amen."
