Wedding Bands and Blog Title

I thought it would be a good thing to explain our blog title.  It comes from the Bible, of course, but it also comes straight from our wedding bands.

Brian and I picked out our wedding bands last July.  He wanted to go to the same place where he got my engagement ring.  I knew that my husband wanted matching rings, and I liked that idea, too, but as a female, I wanted to examine all my options.  I remember first thinking it would be nice to have a band with diamonds.  As the salesperson was telling us that when the ring is worn without the engagement ring, it is nice to have some diamonds on it.  I thought that might be true, for about two seconds.

There is something so lovely about a plain, simple wedding band.  A circle with no embellishments, nothing at all to catch one's eye or even provoke a compliment.  As I tried on various wedding bands, there was something about the plain band which spoke to me of what marriage really is.  I think marriage is more about the simplicity of the everyday routine than the occasional candlelight dinner or walk at sunset.  Marriage is seeing someone when they first wake up in the wee hours of the morning, without any help from cosmetics, hair products, or even a toothbrush.  Marriage is seeing the person you have chosen to cleave to in their worst moments.  We may hide our faults before others, but can we hide the yuckiest parts of our hearts from our mate?  Someone wise once told me that marriage is like looking in a mirror, for it is in that relationship that we truly see who we are.

In that moment, standing at the counter in the jewelry store, I may not have thought of all of this as clearly as I am writing it now, but I did think for a brief moment that a plain band reflected just what the marriage relationship is:  a celebration of walking through life with the one you love during life's most mundane moments as well as the grand.  It's about loving someone with all their faults and allowing yourself to show yours, without putting on airs.

So Brian got his wish that day.  Our bands are plain, but they look alike, except for size, of course. :)  Then the salesman turned to us and asked what we wanted engraved on our rings.  We both looked at each other and realized the thought hadn't occurred to us at all!  Our nice salesman said we could get back to him in a few days while we decided.

It didn't take us long.  We already had this verse on our wedding program, and we thought it would be appropriate on our rings.  After all, why get married if either party is not better off than before?  I am better because Brian has qualities that I need and vice-versa.  We are better together than we are alone.  Christ molds and shapes us individually through the example of the other.  We extend grace and forgiveness to one another continuously, much like our Savior does for us every hour.

I'll leave you with a few words from Henry Van Dyke's poem, "A Mile With Me."

And who will walk a mile with me
Along life's weary way?
A friend whose heart has eyes to see
The stars shine out o'er the darkening lea,
And the quiet rest at the end o' the day,--
A friend who knows, and dares to say,
The brave, sweet words that cheer the way
Where he walks a mile with me.

With such a comrade, such a friend,
I fain would walk till journeys end...

Snow Day

Well, finally.  I had been waiting for this day for a long time.  An unplanned day off for my husband. Freedom from the stresses of work (for him).  Several extra hours of much needed sleep (for him and for me- I get up with him, too).  A day to relax and unwind together that came as an unexpected surprise.

Before marriage, Brian and I lived in different states.  Last year and the year before, we would always chat on the way to work.  We commuted at about the same time, so he usually called me.  If I didn't hear from Brian, and if I tried to call him and his cell was off, there was usually one reason.  He either had a delay or a snow day.  I would grumble at the unfairness of it all as I sleepily made my way to school, and I immediately checked his school website to see what the status was. Let's just say that he had a lot more delays and days off than I did.

So I couldn't wait, now that we're married, for that glorious day, or perhaps, many days, that we would unexpectedly have to spend together.  After all, we live in the Pocono region, and the past two winters were vicious.  Surely we would have lots of snow days together.

I waited, and waited.  I gave up hope, since this was turning out to be a remarkably and unseasonably warm winter, but my disappointment was appeased when I discovered that Brian's school has "Give Back" days, which are the unused snow days that administration has already scheduled in, and therefore, are given back to the students.  What a wonderful thing!  At my old school, we had one (maybe) if we were fortunate, but they have quite a few in this region.  He already had one this past Tuesday and there are more on schedule for next month.

I accepted this turn of events.  If we weren't going to have a snow day, at least he'd get some days off for all of our disappointment.

But then... a weather report of a winter advisory... and a phone call... the first phone call alerted us to a two-hour delay.  Two hours and another phone call later, we heard the long-awaited news. School was closed!  Allelujah!

I had to make plans quickly.  This was unexpected.  A snow day always calls for some baked goods.  (I love to bake, but I try to hold myself back from baking all the time, since it is just the two of us, and I don't wish for Brian and I to weigh one thousand pounds.)  Brian's parents had made us a "snow day kit" as part of our Christmas gift, but we already ate all the chocolate, and I made the blueberry muffins because I had given up on the elusive snow day.  What to do?  I couldn't even make the chili provided in the kit because I used my ground beef last night for dinner.

Well, the weather really wasn't all that bad, in fact, we didn't have much snow.  We were not snowbound in the least, so off we went to Walmart for some walnuts.  Banana bread just tastes so much better with a little bit of nuts.

In truth, I like snow days better when one is truly snowbound while the snow comes down in buckets and there is nothing to do but drink hot chocolate and watch movies.  It wasn't quite that kind of day, but it still was wonderful, and I got to enjoy a rare weekday home with my husband.

I am satisfied.

Valentine's Day With The One I Love

Brian and I had a wonderful Valentine's Day together.  It began in the morning with a card I had ready for him at breakfast.

All day I looked forward to Brian's return from work.  When he came home I had presents waiting for him.

I got him a tan sweater vest.  (I LOVE sweater vests for men and I have gotten three for Brian since being married and I got him one or two while dating.)  Thankfully, he likes them, too.

I also got him the movie "Courageous", which is a Christian movie about the responsibilities of fatherhood, and I got him the first season of "The Andy Griffith Show", which he also loves.  (I think I really surprised him there!)

He bought me some delicious chocolates from a homemade candy shop downtown, and he also got me a beautiful pair of ruby earrings (which I forgot to photograph).  I don't deserve them, and he is too good to me.

We went to dinner at a Chinese restaurant that Brian picked out.  The food was fantastic.  We rarely go out to eat because cooking at home is much cheaper, so this was a treat.  I dressed up a little and Brian kept his nice work clothes on, and I have to say we looked pretty good!

This was our third Valentine's Day together as a couple, but the best by far.  There is something about being married which gives one security and confidence.  I could enjoy Valentine's Day while thinking to myself, "This really is my Valentine. He's not just my Valentine for the day; he's my Valentine every day, and I get to enjoy him all my days." And you know what?  I wouldn't trade him for anything.

I love you, my darling!

(I'm not sure what was going on with the lighting here.)

On Being a Housewife

It's quite a contrast between the life I am now living to the life I left behind last August.  For six years, I worked as a teacher- one year in the Czech Republic and five at a private Christian school back home in NJ.  Even before that, I had a couple of different jobs after college.  I worked as a financial aid adviser at a seminary for a year, then I worked as a legal secretary.

When I meet people here in PA for the first time, or even when I talk to people I already know, some are surprised to see that I am not working.  It would be one thing if I had a child to care for, but as I have none at this time, it sure looks odd in this century for a newly married woman to stay home while her husband does all the work.

People wonder, I am sure, what in the world I do all day.  Well, I sit with my feet up, of course, sipping iced tea with one of those little umbrellas sticking out of the top!

My job for the past five years was very demanding.  Being a teacher is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and being a literature teacher is one of the most demanding disciplines due to the nature of the work.  Grading stacks of papers is no easy task, and it is one that took me hours on end.  As a teacher, I felt my students deserved the best from me as I graded, so I would read papers not once, but twice to be sure I agreed with my own grade.  I often commented to my mom that if I were married, my poor husband would be starved and neglected, because my work kept me so busy.  I may have physically left my job at 3:30, but the hours I spent home doing additional work was countless, and no one could understand this unless they were a teacher themselves, and specifically, a literature or writing teacher.

Since I had to move to PA once Brian and I married, leaving my job was a necessity.  But I knew I didn't want to do that kind of work here, where dinner each night would be a free-for-all, or a quick trip to local fast food restaurants.  I knew I wanted to give my husband my best each day, and support him as much as I could.  My goal is to make his life easier because I am here.

When did a two-income family become a MUST?  As a housewife, I may not be churning butter and milking the cows, but I do a lot to take care of my husband, my home, and simply learn more domestic skills.  It wasn't until the feminism movement that the great majority of women started to step outside of the home.  I've been there already.  I've done that.  I'm happily embracing this new chapter in my life.

I use this time to learn how to live on less and make dollars stretch.  I clip coupons and search for the better deal.  I waste very little food because I know what I am cooking each week and I don't buy what I don't need.  I compare prices and many times choose store brand over the big name (and I'm learning that often there isn't a difference in taste).  I contemplate every purchase, deciding what is really worth it and what isn't.

When it comes to clothes shopping, there I shine.  I am a bargain-hunter, and I am quite good at getting a lot for a ridiculously insane low price.  Now that I am not working, I don't buy much for myself at all, but when I do, rest assured, the prices are as low as thrift store prices (better in some cases), though brand new.  And even for my dear hubby, I am able to find remarkably good deals (ex:  ties for $2.77 each).

I am also getting good at finding deals for the home.  Curtains under $3.00?  Check.  Several pillows for $1.99 each?  Check.  One of my goals of shopping is never paying more than I have to.

Brian tells me time and again that he likes that I am home.  Because I don't work, I take care of things around here and leave little for him to worry about.  I get up with him at 5:20, pack his lunch, prepare his breakfast, and stand at the door ready to kiss him goodbye.  I'm listening for him when he returns, running to the door when I hear him coming, and greeting him with a hug and a kiss.  I have a hot meal ready and waiting for him.

To me, this is priceless, and well worth it.  I love serving my husband and taking care of him, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.  If that time comes where I need to go to work, as long as we have no children, then I will.  But for now, I am relishing my days, enjoying the greatest job I've ever had.

My New Instrument

When meeting me for the first time, I am often asked by people that know Brian if I have any musical talent.  After all, I am married to a music teacher who knows how to play all manner of instruments. Since his youth, his days were spent playing his beloved french horn and even singing in the chorus. So naturally, people think that surely this talented musician must have gravitated toward one who shares similar interests.

When people ask me such a question, I can't help but laugh and admit, with a little self-deprecation, that I have no such ability whatsoever when it comes to music.  I do not know how to play any instruments; I can't even read music.  And heaven help me, but I do try to sing softly in church that I might not scare any of the congregation standing near.

Poor Brian- because I got the better end of the deal!  He actually can write, and sounds intelligent when he does so, but I am just a tone-deaf musical ignoramus.

So when Brian tried to get me to play his guitar about a week ago, I knew it wouldn't be easy.  He took it out and had me playing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" in no time, but I complained that the steel strings were hurting my delicate fingers.  A light bulb went on in his head, and he said, "I bet you'd like the dulcimer."  And just as I was asking, "What in the world is a dulcimer?", he was off and running to the closet, and from the depths therein, he proudly produced an instrument I had never seen before.

So there it was, in all its glory, the perfect instrument for me, with only three strings, and four adorable hearts to boot.  Brian had taken a class in college in which he had to learn this charming little rustic instrument, and though he didn't feel too manly carrying around an instrument with hearts on it, he might have changed his tune if he had only known then that he was buying it for his future wife.

In our first lesson, Brian had me playing fifteen songs in a mere forty-five minutes.  I am far from being good or even worthy to hear, but it is a start for this non-musician.  I can honestly say that I am excited to have an instrument to call my own, and though I may never be proficient, I have a new little hobby in which to tinker away.  And when, with our future children, we one day form our humble family band, I will claim this instrument far in advance.  I'll let our children take on more challenging instruments!

In all seriousness, I am happy to be learning something new and joining Brian in something that he loves.  I am proud of him for finding a musical apparatus so perfect for me.  I love it, and I hope to get decent enough to listen to, someday.

Invisalign

For the next year and a half or so, my teeth will be prisoner to a plastic torture device, otherwise known as Invisalign.  As an adult, I thought I had missed the orthodontic treatment boat years ago. In fact, when my new dentist told me I should go see an orthodontist, I said, "Me?!  I'm too old. Aren't braces for fourteen year olds?"  She replied, "You aren't that old.  You have more living left in you than you have yet lived."  What a great quote, with a lot of alliteration to boot.

For years I have had a problem with grinding my teeth, and doing so has been wreaking havoc on my dental health.  Actually, my teeth are in good shape except for that.  I don't have and haven't had any cavities.  But this grinding is causing my teeth to chip away at the root, and I have needed fillings in several areas.  I didn't know it until I went to see the orthodontist, but it turns out that I have a bad overbite that is causing said grinding.

I knew I didn't want metal braces at this point in my life, so after discussing the cost of Invisalign with Brian, he was all for it.  I would like to add that this would never have been possible if I were still single.  Since Brian's insurance actually has orthodontic coverage for adults, I am able to get these. Still, it is a bit pricey, but I left the entire decision up to my husband.  Needless to say, he is too good to me.

I'm slowly getting used to them, after having them for a week now.  Yes, they are annoying and uncomfortable at times, but that is nothing compared to the fact that I have to brush my teeth after every time I eat or drink.  It's a lot of work and upkeep, but I'm trying to keep focused on the goal. I'm glad I am no longer teaching, because sometimes my mouth is tired from wearing these, and talking all day long would be difficult.

I'm posting some pictures (hi mom!) which prove that these really are close to invisible.  I don't even think Brian knows if I have them in or out.

I'm not the best photographer out there, but you really can't tell I'm wearing Invisalign unless you are right in front of my face.  Also, please forgive the lack of makeup.

It's About Time I Got Started

I finally managed to pull myself away from my kindle that Brian gave me for Christmas to begin blogging.  I had intended on starting after the new year, but didn't know I'd be caught up in one novel after the next.  How I love to read!  Now that I am no longer teaching literature, I finally have time to read literature!

Brian and I had a wonderful time in my stomping grounds of NJ over Christmas break.  How I loved seeing my family- which included my father who recently survived major heart surgery, all the way down to my baby twin nephews.  It was so great to be among familiar things, and I'm happy to say that it felt like I never left.

I wonder when or if that time will come, when home no longer feels like home?  I hope that won't happen for a long while.

It was a beautiful first Christmas together as a married couple, instead of merely dating, which was the case for the past two years.

I have much to talk about on this blog, and it is difficult to find a place to begin, seeing as I've been here in PA since the end of August and so much has happened.  For now, I'll post a few pictures that were taken over the Christmas  holiday.

Brian's parents came to see us a week before Christmas.  It was great spending time with them before they left for Arizona for the winter.

Brian's parents blessed us with a beautiful stainless steel pot and pan set, among some other gifts.  We're thankful to have it!  (Notice our teeny tree in the background!)

Our first Christmas stockings!

I've had an "Aunt" picture frame for a couple of years now that I've wanted to fill with a picture of me and all my nieces and nephews.  I figured that Christmas would be my only opportunity, but Lindsey had other ideas.

I did finally get this one several days later, but unfortunately, Adriana wasn't there.  I figure I'll have to wait until the kids are all grown before I get a picture with all of them.

Playing Adriana's game that she got for Christmas... I forget what it's called, but it sure was challenging!

Lindsey is trying to yank my husband off the floor... Emily and Lindsey sure love their Uncle Brian!

Double the cuteness.  I'll take one of those, please.

The greatest Christmas present for all of us:  my dad.  We're so grateful he's here.