After months of debating the issue, Brian and I decided to leave the church we've been calling home for the past two and a half years. It wasn't an easy decision, but one that we felt that we had to make.
We started attending about three weeks after we were married. We didn't go consistently at first, because Brian was still involved with his old church, but we liked it, and slowly it became our home. Brian was asked to step up and lead the worship, which he happily did. The church was a short drive from our old apartment, and life was pretty grand.
After we moved into our house, the short drive became a thing of the past. We would usually leave by ten o'clock to comfortably make the eleven o'clock service. Not that it took an hour to get there, but Brian needed time to warm up on his horn. It became increasingly more difficult as going there and coming home again began to interfere with at least one, or perhaps both, of Caleb's naps, depending on the day. Many times Caleb was still sleeping when we needed to leave, so we stayed behind while Brian went without us. (The rule is: "Never wake a sleeping baby.")
Our current pastor also decided to retire at the end of this month, so the timing just seemed right.
It was a tough decision because the people there were so good to us, throwing us a surprise shower before Caleb was born, and making meals for us after. It made it really hard to move on, but we feel strongly that we need to simplify our lives. I'm so tired of driving far to get everywhere. It is just plain exhausting! Some things cannot be controlled, but some can.
We've been looking into a church down the road from us... much shorter of a drive! We went once so far to visit, and while we did like the church, we had a difficult time with Caleb's restlessness that day. It is a one room church, not an actual church building, and there was no where to bring him during his fussy moments. We are attempting to train him to sit on our laps for a period of time, but goodness, an hour and a half is tough for any thirteen month old.
This church is currently going through a tough time financially, and they are not sure they will be able to keep the room they rent in several months time. We want to go where God leads us, and we continue to seek His guidance and direction as we make this important decision.
All this to say, it's been an emotional roller coaster of sorts. I didn't like saying goodbye to the people at our church, but if I'm honest with myself, I felt kind of hardened to the whole thing. Normally, my heart is a mushy mess. I know I have some walls around my heart ever since I left home... I left so many good friends and family. It is so hard to make friends these days, especially as a stay-at-home mom. My friends were people with whom I worked, with whom I was in the trenches day-to-day as we strove to serve the Lord in Christian school. The casual hellos and how-do-you-dos at church once a week don't allow a deep friendship to form... so it's hard.
I am hoping, that in time, a closer church might lead to meaningful friendships due to the simple factor that the people in attendance will live closer to us, unlike the church we are leaving behind. It will take time, I know, but I am hopeful.
Please pray for us as we seek to become a part of a new church fellowship.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Monday, June 23, 2014
Let's Pause A Moment Please...
I'm speaking more to myself here. Brian has just begun his last week of school for the year, and I am ridiculously excited about it. I must pause and gather my thoughts, because this is the only week of the year that I can look forward to almost two months (not quite with required staff days in August) together as a family with the overall busyness coming to a near standstill.
I personally am not all that busy. I am to a degree, yes, taking care of my baby and my home. There is ALWAYS work to be done, and never a single moment where I can say, "I have nothing to do." However, I'm not "busy" with out-of-the-house stuff. I like a simple life, and besides doctor's appointments, there's no commitments I have to be at such and such time and place.
Brian, however, is busy enough for the both of us. With his full-time job, part-time job, and the extras that come along with his full-time job, enough is enough. My sister even once said to me while I was explaining to her how many nights Brian had to be gone for something at his work (perhaps the school play), "I hate his job." It is so nice to get sympathy from my big sis.
Everyone seems to think school teachers have it made. Summer's off! Who doesn't want that? While that part is very nice, Brian works like a slave during the year, and sometimes I do wish he just worked a 9-5 job and was home for good and that was that. No nights. No weekends running to this band festival or that play rehearsal. (And for the record, many events in his school's county are very far from us, for example, one hour or more.) Many times I feel like a single parent.
I MISS my husband a lot. So this week, I am relishing the fact that we have a whole summer before us. Of course, it will go way too fast. We'll blink and tomorrow it will be September 1st. We'll scratch our heads and wonder where the days all went. But for TODAY, I get to soak up the wonder of this moment. Next Monday, Brian won't be running off to work. We'll wake up early (Caleb won't let us sleep in), but Brian will enjoy breakfast with us. We won't watch him leave wearing his dress shirt and tie. We'll enjoy some lazy mornings, and perhaps I'll even learn to relax a bit, since another person will be here to help me watch Caleb. (Only a bit, folks. Someone has got to keep the order here.)
We have a long "to-do" list. Endless house/cleaning projects need our attention. We want to work hard and take advantage of the time. However, we want to play hard, too. It is time for long walks with Caleb. Trips to the park. Ice cream outings. The long-awaited trip to the zoo. In August, we'll bring Caleb to the fair... the fair where Daddy paid for Mommy's entrance fee a few years ago- the first time he ever paid my way for anything. (It was not a date. We went with our friends and their three kids.)
Summer is before us, with so many things to look forward to. My birthday. Our anniversary. Perhaps we'll try to travel (oh, how I dread traveling with Caleb when he really has learned to sleep well in his crib). I feel like all of our longing and waiting has paid off. We get to be a family, a real family, for an entire summer.
May we not take A. Single. Moment. For. Granted.
I personally am not all that busy. I am to a degree, yes, taking care of my baby and my home. There is ALWAYS work to be done, and never a single moment where I can say, "I have nothing to do." However, I'm not "busy" with out-of-the-house stuff. I like a simple life, and besides doctor's appointments, there's no commitments I have to be at such and such time and place.
Brian, however, is busy enough for the both of us. With his full-time job, part-time job, and the extras that come along with his full-time job, enough is enough. My sister even once said to me while I was explaining to her how many nights Brian had to be gone for something at his work (perhaps the school play), "I hate his job." It is so nice to get sympathy from my big sis.
Everyone seems to think school teachers have it made. Summer's off! Who doesn't want that? While that part is very nice, Brian works like a slave during the year, and sometimes I do wish he just worked a 9-5 job and was home for good and that was that. No nights. No weekends running to this band festival or that play rehearsal. (And for the record, many events in his school's county are very far from us, for example, one hour or more.) Many times I feel like a single parent.
I MISS my husband a lot. So this week, I am relishing the fact that we have a whole summer before us. Of course, it will go way too fast. We'll blink and tomorrow it will be September 1st. We'll scratch our heads and wonder where the days all went. But for TODAY, I get to soak up the wonder of this moment. Next Monday, Brian won't be running off to work. We'll wake up early (Caleb won't let us sleep in), but Brian will enjoy breakfast with us. We won't watch him leave wearing his dress shirt and tie. We'll enjoy some lazy mornings, and perhaps I'll even learn to relax a bit, since another person will be here to help me watch Caleb. (Only a bit, folks. Someone has got to keep the order here.)
We have a long "to-do" list. Endless house/cleaning projects need our attention. We want to work hard and take advantage of the time. However, we want to play hard, too. It is time for long walks with Caleb. Trips to the park. Ice cream outings. The long-awaited trip to the zoo. In August, we'll bring Caleb to the fair... the fair where Daddy paid for Mommy's entrance fee a few years ago- the first time he ever paid my way for anything. (It was not a date. We went with our friends and their three kids.)
Summer is before us, with so many things to look forward to. My birthday. Our anniversary. Perhaps we'll try to travel (oh, how I dread traveling with Caleb when he really has learned to sleep well in his crib). I feel like all of our longing and waiting has paid off. We get to be a family, a real family, for an entire summer.
May we not take A. Single. Moment. For. Granted.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Father's Day
Brian celebrated his second Father's Day this past Sunday. While round one (last year), was a thrill, I wouldn't say this year received second prize. Caleb is so much fun now, and he absolutely loves his daddy.
I dressed him in his "Handsome Just Like My Daddy" onesie, on which he promptly managed to smear his sweet potato cereal puffs. Really, he never does that. I don't normally put a bib on him for cereal puffs because they are a non-messy food, but somehow he managed to make it messy.
Brian had a concert in the late afternoon where he was being paid to play his horn. The event was over an hour away, and since we didn't want to split up on Father's Day, we brought Caleb along. Let's just say it was an exhausting time of holding him. We didn't have the stroller because it was in the other car, and no way was I letting my baby crawl on a disgusting floor. My arms were definitely tired by the end. When the concert was over, I took Caleb to the car so I could give my poor muscles a rest, and I pulled the car up so Brian could come right to us. It was a long day, but I was glad we could all be together.
Caleb loves his daddy. When he hears the door opening in the late afternoons, he crawls as fast as he can so he can get a look. He knows Daddy is arriving, and he wants to be picked up as soon as can be. I don't think Caleb is more content any place than he is on top of Daddy's shoulders (except for nursing, of course).
I married a wonderful husband, and he's a fantastic father to our little boy. Caleb is in for some pretty amazing years ahead.
I dressed him in his "Handsome Just Like My Daddy" onesie, on which he promptly managed to smear his sweet potato cereal puffs. Really, he never does that. I don't normally put a bib on him for cereal puffs because they are a non-messy food, but somehow he managed to make it messy.
Brian had a concert in the late afternoon where he was being paid to play his horn. The event was over an hour away, and since we didn't want to split up on Father's Day, we brought Caleb along. Let's just say it was an exhausting time of holding him. We didn't have the stroller because it was in the other car, and no way was I letting my baby crawl on a disgusting floor. My arms were definitely tired by the end. When the concert was over, I took Caleb to the car so I could give my poor muscles a rest, and I pulled the car up so Brian could come right to us. It was a long day, but I was glad we could all be together.
Caleb loves his daddy. When he hears the door opening in the late afternoons, he crawls as fast as he can so he can get a look. He knows Daddy is arriving, and he wants to be picked up as soon as can be. I don't think Caleb is more content any place than he is on top of Daddy's shoulders (except for nursing, of course).
I married a wonderful husband, and he's a fantastic father to our little boy. Caleb is in for some pretty amazing years ahead.
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Routine
One of the things I miss most about Caleb's early months, besides all the cuteness, of course, is the fact that he could be dragged out almost anytime of the day. The only hindrance then was the nursing issue. I am not one for nursing in public anytime, anywhere, but that is another blog post entirely.
As those months began to slip through my fingers, I realized it was time for developing a routine and sticking to it. First, I had to battle the sleep issues, but that is also another blog post entirely, one which I do plan to write.
I thought it would be fun to write about what a typical day looks like for me and Caleb. Nothing exciting here, folks, but in case I forget, someday I can look back and read this. (Provided the internet doesn't crash and we revert back to primal ways of living. Then I'm out of luck.)
5:00-5:30: Caleb wakes up, and thus MY day begins. Lord help me if he wakes before 5. It is a never-ending wish on my part that he sleep longer, but he just won't. On the rare day he has slept until 6, and I swear the angels were singing. And PLEASE don't be one of those people that suggests I put him down later. If it were that easy, don't you think I would be doing just that? If I put him down later, and it has been done here and there, he does not sleep later, folks. The only thing that has happened is that he loses additional sleep because he still gets up at the same time.
5:30-5:45: I go and get the cute little stinker, after leaving him in his crib for a little while as I fight my own morning heavy eyelids. I always nurse him first thing, usually in our bed, because I am too tired for anything else.
6:00 or so: Change Caleb's diaper and get him dressed for the day. (I used to keep him in his pjs longer, but I have issues with him crawling on the floor in his pajamas. I'd rather him crawl in play clothes, so I just get him dressed early.) Then it's out to the kitchen where I give him some of his cereal puffs/yogurt melts (not a real breakfast yet, since he just nursed), and I get Brian's packed-the-night-before lunch bag out and make my coffee.
6:30: We say goodbye to Daddy, and I put Caleb in his pack 'n play, where I wheel him to the hallway next to the bathroom. I take a quick shower, knowing he's safe in the pack 'n play, and keeping the door ajar for good measure. After shower, get dressed, wheel Caleb in pack 'n play to living room, start one of his Einstein videos, and I quickly run downstairs to throw a load of laundry in. (On diaper wash days, it is one of two loads.)
6:50 or so: Call my sister. I begin most weekdays by calling my sis, fellow stay-at-home mom. (Of course, she has four, including identical troublemaker/cuties Matthew and Nathan, so her life is way more hectic than mine.) No doubt, if we lived close to one another, I'd see my sister all the time, so I have to settle for the phone. I prepare Caleb's breakfast, usually cereal and fruit, though sometimes I do a scrambled egg, and on weekends when Daddy is home, usually waffles or pancakes. After he is fed, I release him! He's off to crawl/play in the living room/dining room/kitchen area. I make myself breakfast, too, all while chatting with my sis, and while stopping to play with Caleb here or there. (Only with very close family members can you have these kinds of conversations whilst doing other things at the same time.)
8:15: Scoop the boy up and take him to his room. I worked hard to develop a nap routine for the boy who never slept in his crib. I change his diaper (remember- cloth need to be changed more frequently than disposable), and I usually have to nurse him just to calm him down. He hates nap time, and I'm hoping to wean him off the nap time nursings when Brian is home to help this summer. (He won't go looking for milk if Daddy puts him down.) I DO NOT let him fall asleep while nursing. It is only to calm him down. (That, again, is a whole other blog post.) I read six or seven books to him, and then I put him down with a quick prayer, turn his sound machines on, and I leave the room. He *usually* goes right out, but you never know. As far as how long he is out, your guess is as good as mine. Yesterday, both naps were thirty minutes. Today, as I write, he is still asleep after one hour and ten minutes or so. I usually use his first nap to attack laundry, brush my teeth, get myself together if we need to run to the store, or simply whatever needs doing.
9:15-9:45: Caleb wakes up. I finish nursing him, and then if I have an errand to run, we go off immediately after. Otherwise, it is back for some play.
10:15-10:30: Morning snack. Usually cereal puffs and yogurt melts. He can't get enough of those things. It might be time to check the diaper.
11:30: Lunch time! I start him off with a piece of cheese. He gobbles that up like a starving man. He loves cheese. I often give him a veggie chicken nugget and some kind of fruit. Some days he might have some beans.
12:15 or so: I begin another nap routine, and unless he's had a fantastically long early nap, he is usually in the crib by 12:30. If he has a longer morning nap than usual, (like today!), he will go down a bit later. I usually go ahead and eat lunch and use the time either to relax (HA!), or do some kind of chore, mainly the latter.
1:30: He is usually up by this time, with exceptions, of course. We go play, and I am also working more training sessions into our day, so that is a part of things, too. From this point on, I try to do my work while being involved with him, too. If I need to work in the kitchen, I do so, stopping to play at times or hold on to Caleb when in a precarious position, or correct him if he's disobeying. We also stop for a snack for Caleb- usually yogurt. I sometimes do an afternoon errand, but not usually. (We'll do more things in the summer, for sure, when Brian is off.)
4:00: If it's not a long night for Daddy, he might come home somewhere around this time. Caleb eats dinner at 4:15 or so. If Daddy is home, he's in for some really silly times and hard-core rough and tumble. It is rather boring if it is just me.
5:00 or so: Brian and I may eat dinner now if it is all ready.
6:00: Begin Caleb's bedtime routine. Nursing, bath if it is bath night, brushing his teeth, getting him dressed, and reading several stories in his room. If Brian is home, we both are part of the routine, otherwise it is just me. The very last thing I do is nurse him and I take the time to pray for him out loud while he nurses, then we give kisses and put him in the crib, usually by 6:30. He *usually* goes right out. (You NEVER know.)
6:30: I clean up the toys in the living room and Caleb's bath stuff if he had bath. Brian and I might eat dinner if we didn't already do so. In any case, I clean up the kitchen. I won't usually get to settle down until well after 7. If Brian is working at his second job, I'll be waiting to feed him as soon as he comes home.
9:30 or so: We are usually ready for bed. I might sit and read for a little while, but I like to be tucked in around this time, ready to settle my mind as I wind down for the day.
As those months began to slip through my fingers, I realized it was time for developing a routine and sticking to it. First, I had to battle the sleep issues, but that is also another blog post entirely, one which I do plan to write.
I thought it would be fun to write about what a typical day looks like for me and Caleb. Nothing exciting here, folks, but in case I forget, someday I can look back and read this. (Provided the internet doesn't crash and we revert back to primal ways of living. Then I'm out of luck.)
5:00-5:30: Caleb wakes up, and thus MY day begins. Lord help me if he wakes before 5. It is a never-ending wish on my part that he sleep longer, but he just won't. On the rare day he has slept until 6, and I swear the angels were singing. And PLEASE don't be one of those people that suggests I put him down later. If it were that easy, don't you think I would be doing just that? If I put him down later, and it has been done here and there, he does not sleep later, folks. The only thing that has happened is that he loses additional sleep because he still gets up at the same time.
5:30-5:45: I go and get the cute little stinker, after leaving him in his crib for a little while as I fight my own morning heavy eyelids. I always nurse him first thing, usually in our bed, because I am too tired for anything else.
6:00 or so: Change Caleb's diaper and get him dressed for the day. (I used to keep him in his pjs longer, but I have issues with him crawling on the floor in his pajamas. I'd rather him crawl in play clothes, so I just get him dressed early.) Then it's out to the kitchen where I give him some of his cereal puffs/yogurt melts (not a real breakfast yet, since he just nursed), and I get Brian's packed-the-night-before lunch bag out and make my coffee.
6:30: We say goodbye to Daddy, and I put Caleb in his pack 'n play, where I wheel him to the hallway next to the bathroom. I take a quick shower, knowing he's safe in the pack 'n play, and keeping the door ajar for good measure. After shower, get dressed, wheel Caleb in pack 'n play to living room, start one of his Einstein videos, and I quickly run downstairs to throw a load of laundry in. (On diaper wash days, it is one of two loads.)
6:50 or so: Call my sister. I begin most weekdays by calling my sis, fellow stay-at-home mom. (Of course, she has four, including identical troublemaker/cuties Matthew and Nathan, so her life is way more hectic than mine.) No doubt, if we lived close to one another, I'd see my sister all the time, so I have to settle for the phone. I prepare Caleb's breakfast, usually cereal and fruit, though sometimes I do a scrambled egg, and on weekends when Daddy is home, usually waffles or pancakes. After he is fed, I release him! He's off to crawl/play in the living room/dining room/kitchen area. I make myself breakfast, too, all while chatting with my sis, and while stopping to play with Caleb here or there. (Only with very close family members can you have these kinds of conversations whilst doing other things at the same time.)
8:15: Scoop the boy up and take him to his room. I worked hard to develop a nap routine for the boy who never slept in his crib. I change his diaper (remember- cloth need to be changed more frequently than disposable), and I usually have to nurse him just to calm him down. He hates nap time, and I'm hoping to wean him off the nap time nursings when Brian is home to help this summer. (He won't go looking for milk if Daddy puts him down.) I DO NOT let him fall asleep while nursing. It is only to calm him down. (That, again, is a whole other blog post.) I read six or seven books to him, and then I put him down with a quick prayer, turn his sound machines on, and I leave the room. He *usually* goes right out, but you never know. As far as how long he is out, your guess is as good as mine. Yesterday, both naps were thirty minutes. Today, as I write, he is still asleep after one hour and ten minutes or so. I usually use his first nap to attack laundry, brush my teeth, get myself together if we need to run to the store, or simply whatever needs doing.
9:15-9:45: Caleb wakes up. I finish nursing him, and then if I have an errand to run, we go off immediately after. Otherwise, it is back for some play.
10:15-10:30: Morning snack. Usually cereal puffs and yogurt melts. He can't get enough of those things. It might be time to check the diaper.
11:30: Lunch time! I start him off with a piece of cheese. He gobbles that up like a starving man. He loves cheese. I often give him a veggie chicken nugget and some kind of fruit. Some days he might have some beans.
12:15 or so: I begin another nap routine, and unless he's had a fantastically long early nap, he is usually in the crib by 12:30. If he has a longer morning nap than usual, (like today!), he will go down a bit later. I usually go ahead and eat lunch and use the time either to relax (HA!), or do some kind of chore, mainly the latter.
1:30: He is usually up by this time, with exceptions, of course. We go play, and I am also working more training sessions into our day, so that is a part of things, too. From this point on, I try to do my work while being involved with him, too. If I need to work in the kitchen, I do so, stopping to play at times or hold on to Caleb when in a precarious position, or correct him if he's disobeying. We also stop for a snack for Caleb- usually yogurt. I sometimes do an afternoon errand, but not usually. (We'll do more things in the summer, for sure, when Brian is off.)
4:00: If it's not a long night for Daddy, he might come home somewhere around this time. Caleb eats dinner at 4:15 or so. If Daddy is home, he's in for some really silly times and hard-core rough and tumble. It is rather boring if it is just me.
5:00 or so: Brian and I may eat dinner now if it is all ready.
6:00: Begin Caleb's bedtime routine. Nursing, bath if it is bath night, brushing his teeth, getting him dressed, and reading several stories in his room. If Brian is home, we both are part of the routine, otherwise it is just me. The very last thing I do is nurse him and I take the time to pray for him out loud while he nurses, then we give kisses and put him in the crib, usually by 6:30. He *usually* goes right out. (You NEVER know.)
6:30: I clean up the toys in the living room and Caleb's bath stuff if he had bath. Brian and I might eat dinner if we didn't already do so. In any case, I clean up the kitchen. I won't usually get to settle down until well after 7. If Brian is working at his second job, I'll be waiting to feed him as soon as he comes home.
9:30 or so: We are usually ready for bed. I might sit and read for a little while, but I like to be tucked in around this time, ready to settle my mind as I wind down for the day.
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