Monday, April 29, 2013

Lessons Learned from Living in the Woods

Sometimes I feel like an old-fashioned pioneer woman in the late 1800's who's moved west for one reason or another.  Perhaps marriage.  Perhaps hope for a better opportunity.  Whatever the case, she is a refined woman of the east, and she's not used to getting her hands dirty, and adjusting to her new life takes time and patience.

So I didn't move THAT far west.  Really, moving from NJ to PA is no great leap.  And certainly, there are different parts of NJ and PA both.  Some parts are rural, some are suburban, and some are city. Brian has always referred to me as being more "city" than he is.  Even though where I am from is by no means a city, and truly I am not a "city" girl, I understand what he means.  A farm girl I am not. While I loved my "Little House on the Prairie" books as a child, I can only guess how well I'd do living on a farm.

When I moved here, it was an adjustment of sorts.  It simply isn't what I'm used to, and while that isn't a bad thing, it means that it takes time to become accustomed to what has previously been foreign to me.

I won't rehash the mouse story, but I don't think I would be telling an untruth when I say that I'm not quite over that whole traumatic episode.  While things have calmed down in that regard, I haven't let down my guard, so to speak.

Last night, or rather, very early this morning, we had another kind of visitor.  I had gotten up around 3:30 to use the restroom (the joys of pregnancy!), and I had just settled back in bed when I heard a definite noise.  At first, I was terrified someone was trying to break in.  While thinking that very thing, I started to wake my sleeping husband, and just as I was nudging him, I realized that a bear must be in our trash.  He came to and got to action, and I have to give him credit, because normally he doesn't wake up so easily.  He ran to our bedroom window and started banging on it in hopes of scaring the monster away.  We heard quiet, so we went back to bed, I with the flashlight in my hand, feeling somehow safer with it, though I knew I wasn't going back to sleep.

We heard more noise a minute or two later, and we got up again.  Brian tried opening the front door, with warnings from me, "Don't you dare go out there!" in the background, and he started shouting at the bear, which honestly, he couldn't see since it was around the corner of the house.  Then he ran for some of my skillets, and he started banging them together.  He did that outside the front door, and he also opened the garage and made some noise there because the bear was outside the garage door wall.

We went back to bed.  I am envious of Brian's ability to put things behind him and get right back to sleep.  No such luck for me.  I was still too scared, thinking of this beast right outside my wall, rummaging through my trash, and thinking of the mess we'd have to clean up.  We heard no further movements, but I feared seeing the disaster come morning.

Brian left for work and I asked him to tell me how bad it was.  He said it wasn't a mess, but that the can was moved quite a ways.  I haven't been outside yet, but I am not touching anything until he comes home.

I try to be careful with what we throw out.  I'm guessing the guilty food was the bone-in pork chops I had made for dinner a few nights ago.  After we threw the remains out, I actually said to myself, "I hope that isn't going to be a problem."  As it is, we still have some of those pork chops remains in our current bag of trash in the house.  I have already pledged to dig them out and have Brian throw them into the woods instead of our trash can.

So I'm still learning.  Our neighbors had a bear get into their trash a week or so ago, and they've been here longer, so I'm trying not to be too hard on myself.  This is something I never had to worry about in my former life.  And I'm not sure it won't happen again, even if I am careful.  It is summer, and the weather is warm, so no doubt those scents are wafting through the air, luring these prowlers in like a moth to a flame.  I just wish they weren't so noisy about it, nor so messy.  Go ahead and have the trash, just please put it all back in the bag and make it nice and tidy.  Thank you.

That's our latest!  I'm surprised my early morning terror didn't send me into labor.  One of these days, one of these days.

Update:  It turns out the bear actually DID NOT get into the trash.  He knocked the can over and dragged it a bit.  Brian keeps bungee cords on the can, and while that wouldn't stop a bear in the least, it could possibly slow him down.  After Brian banged the skillets, we think the bear took off. Brian poured ammonia in the trash can last night, and it was untouched this morning as well. Looks like I'll be stocking up on ammonia!

Update to the update:  Mr. Bear came back and DID get into our trash last night.  This was after several precautions were taken, so I'm at my wit's end.  It's not fun getting up at 5:30 a.m. and picking up your scattered trash.  When Brian has more time on his hands, we can burn our compost in the backyard, but with a baby coming, I can't say that's our number one priority at the moment. The only good bear is a teddy bear!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

38 Weeks


Well, here is the belly.  The girl behind the belly is named Courtney.  It's hard to see her much these days, though.  Not that she minds the belly, seeing that it is holding her baby.  But she does long for the day when her organs don't feel squished anymore.

In all seriousness, here I am with about two weeks to go.  My midwife tells me this baby will not come early.  I am going at least until my due date, or I fear, beyond.  I pray this baby doesn't keep us waiting too much longer!

Today I got my pre-labor haircut.  I made that term up, but I thought it was important to get my scraggly hair cut before this baby comes and I have no time for such things.  It was definitely needed and made me feel really good at a time when maternity pants no longer want to stay up and I have only one skirt left to wear to church on Sundays.

Brian has come down with a sore throat/cough combo.  When he gets these, they always wreak havoc on him, and usually only antibiotics do the trick.  The timing couldn't be worse, because he certainly doesn't need to be sick when I'm in labor.  I called the doctor today, trying to get him in as soon as possible, but unfortunately, the ear/nose/throat specialist we see is in high demand.  Brian couldn't get in there until May 11!  I told the receptionist, "That's too late.  We're going to have a baby in a couple of weeks.  I need him to get better."  She was so nice, and she offered to describe Brian's symptoms to the doctor so that he could call in a prescription.  I was able to pick up Brian's prescription today without any hassles, and so I pray Brian will soon be on his way to better health. We certainly don't need him coughing on our newborn!

Things are winding down.  My focus now is on tidying the house and keeping things clean, washing my cloth diapers I just received (they must be washed several times before use), and continuing my prenatal visits.  I have two more appointments before my due date; we'll see if I need any more.

We are excited, but also nervous for what is ahead.  I'm not sure there is anything like coming labor that brings to the forefront such contrasting emotions at the same time.  Yes, we joyfully anticipate the arrival of our child, but the fears of pain and the unknown are definitely there, too.


It won't be long now before this bassinet will be filled.  It is at my bedside, ready to go.


Baby's window.  I hung the banner my sister had used to decorate my baby shower.  (Yes, those balloons are from the shower, too, which was a month ago today.)


My sister bought this cute creation, which is made up of baby washcloths, and in the center, a baby mitten, to use as the centerpiece at my baby shower.  It is now in Baby's room as a decoration.  (As you can see in the pic it is on the floor, but that is only because I put it there to get a shot out of the sunlight.)


Here is another shot of it, along with Baby's toy bin.


Baby's blankets are washed and ready to be used. 


Don't look too closely at this dresser.  It's been mine since my parent's bought it for my sister and me when I was in the third grade.  It desperately needs to be painted, and we are hoping to get brave enough to try it in the near future.  (And for the record, I don't want it to be painted white.)  So imagine here a something like a taupe dresser instead.


Baby's changing station is fully operational.  Yes, you see disposable diapers there.  I will use them in the beginning, but I fully intend to be a cloth diapering mama.  No, it is not for the faint of heart, but I am not afraid, and I will not turn back.  I just can't see spending so much money on something my baby will be in barely five minutes, and then it is thrown away.  It's funny to see people's reactions when I mention I will be cloth diapering.  They are either bluntly or subtly cynical about the whole thing, and I have been warned that I will change my mind.  I know there will be bumps in the road as I learn cloth diapering, after all, I've never changed a baby with anything other than a disposable. However, I will not let a bump in the road deter me from doing what I know is economically best for my family, as well as healthier for my baby.  (Did you know there are chemicals in disposable diapers that often cause rashes in babies?)  Good grief, disposable diapers have only been a recent thing when compared to how long mankind has been around.  If my dad could wash his younger brother's cloth diapers using a scrub board, surely I can throw my baby's diapers in the washing machine and let that do the work.

That's where we're at!  Please keep us in your prayers if you think of it.  We want Baby to have a smooth and healthy transition into this world.  We can't wait to see our little one!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

From a Mother to Her Child

My precious child,

In a mere few weeks, perhaps as early as three, I will be celebrating your entrance into my world.

I wish I could tell you how much I love you.  Your father and I await you with arms open wide, and we are so excited and honored to be your parents.  To think that God would bless us with YOU makes us feel incredibly humbled.  We know He has marvelous plans for your life, and we are so grateful to be a part of it.

I hope you always feel loved in our home, and I pray you will always be happy with your father and me.  We won't be perfect parents.  We know we will mess up at times, but when we will, we won't be afraid to admit to you our wrongs.  We want you to grow up to be a godly person, and we realize we can't do that without our Heavenly Father's help.

Life moves so quickly, and while this minute you are still a tiny babe squirming about in my womb, in the blink of an eye, you'll be going away to college!  May we teach you that every day is precious, that even the most seemingly mundane moments in life have meaning, and I hope you learn to cherish each one.

I want to tell you about your daddy.  You, my dear one, are blessed to be his child, because he is the best man in the world!  In him, you'll find a silly playmate.  He will make you laugh a ton, and I can already see you running to greet him when he comes home from work.  But he'll be way more than that.  He will be your teacher and your guide.  As your father, he will train you in the way that you should go, and while that won't always be fun and games, you will be the better for it.  If you ever lose your way, he will lovingly and gently lead you home.  He will provide for you and protect you with everything he has, until it is time for you to make your own path.  You will never doubt his love for you, because he will daily tell you of it.

As for me, well, I can't speak of my own virtues.  You'll have to discover them along with my many vices.  One thing that will always be true is my love for you.  I have wanted to be a mother for a long time, and I believe in being the best mother I can be.  That includes staying home so I can be with you full-time, and in a few years, I will teach you here at home instead of send you to school.  I will always be here for you, ready to soothe all your hurts with a tender hug and a soft caress.  I won't ever think of you as a burden, but the greatest blessing in my life, next to your father.

How wonderful it will be to watch you grow!  So many questions will be unfolded as we get to know you and you develop before our eyes.  Will you have brown hair and blue eyes like your father and me?  Will you inherit your daddy's love for music or my passion for the written word, or perhaps, both?  There is no pressure, however; your father and I want you to be who God has created you to be.  Our job is only to help you along your way.

We are so excited for you.  We've got your room ready, and your car seat has been installed.  Your clothes are washed, and your blankets, too.  Only God knows the day and the hour that you'll arrive, and we can only try to be patient until then.  You'll learn, I'm sure, that your father and I affectionately call one another "Bear", and we often refer to you as our "Baby Bear".  And so, our little Baby Bear, may you know that before you ever even took your first breath, that you are loved and wanted.  We are waiting for you!

With love,
Your Mommy

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

The Home Stretch


In about four weeks (or so), our lives will change forever.

We've waited for this so long, it seems, far longer than we've even been married, though that was something we waited for, too.  Brian sometimes hears me saying to him, "I wish we had met in our early twenties."  There were moments, I think, we both individually almost gave up the dream because it took such a long time coming.

God is good, however.  He sees all and knows all, and He is sufficiently able to help us deal with our disappointments as well as bless our socks off.

To feel this life inside of me moving about gives me a joy I am not sure the most eloquent of poets could express.  I am so eager to see our baby.  To feel him/her squirming about is getting to be almost torturous (in the best of ways!), because I simply can't wait to have him/her in my arms. Sometimes I feel a hand or a foot poke me in my side, and I immediately place my hand there in my longing to connect with/grasp this child in a way other than his/her presence inside of me.


In addition to all of this, I simply can't wait for Brian and I to be parents together.  I look forward to our love growing even more so as we see and support one another in our new roles as mother and father.  If I could love Brian any more than I already do, I am sure it would be due to seeing him as a Daddy.

But before all this happens, I still need to get through labor.

I wrote those words on purpose, because it does seem to be something we women simply have to endure to get the prize at the end, but I'm comforted by the fact that no matter what, the baby is coming.  Even if I am weak and wimpy, the baby will find its way, and I will not be pregnant forever.


I was telling Brian that, though it may seem silly, I am nervous about the whole hospital experience. The last time I was in a hospital overnight was when I was born.  I am totally unfamiliar with the whole routine, and I think it will feel odd to be in a bed while people come to me with their poking and prodding ways.  I've traveled around Europe and my head has rested in many different places, including various types of hostels, yet the idea of being in a hospital seems strange.  It's funny, too, because for as much as I have traveled, I feel suddenly at a loss when thinking about what to pack for our hospital stay.  (That's why I have a big sister to tell me what to pack!)

I have been praying more earnestly about labor and delivery.  Since this is the last barrier between holding and kissing our child that awaits us, my thoughts go there often.  While I am not confident in myself, I am confident in Him who made me to help me through.  Just as I know He knitted together this little one in my womb, I trust Him to guide his/her entrance from my womb and into my arms, at long last.  I feel like a child at Christmas, waiting to open up my presents, except that this is a far greater gift than any I've ever received (with the exception of my husband- he was a pretty fabulous gift).


Here is a blanket I crocheted for our baby.  I am not super-talented in this regard; I only know the three basic stitches, but I wanted my baby to have something made with my own hands.  This baby has quite a few blankets already!  He/she will not be cold, that is for sure!

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Lonely, But Busy

This week is a bit lonely for me, because Brian is involved with the pit band for the school play, and it means that he arrives home at about 9:30 each night due to rehearsals.  Then he's off at 6:30 in the morning and I feel as though I've hardly gotten to see him!

It can be difficult, because there's not much to do here in the area where we live, nor do I have many friends.  If I still lived at home in NJ, I could easily distract myself with a quick trip to Kohl's or Target.  But here?  Any store of worth is at least 45 minutes away.  These days, I get worn out from such trips too easily, especially by myself.  It helps if I have an arm to lean on for support.

Thankfully, I'm not prone to cabin fever, and I really do enjoy being at home.  I think God made me to be a stay-at-home, and eventually, a home school mom.  I love being at home, and it isn't until the weather really warms up that I start itching to be outside.

In the meantime, I have plenty to do.  Keeping up with the regular house chores is one thing, but today I have just begun baby laundry, and truly, I think our baby has more laundry than Brian and I both!  I have one load in right now, and there is another brewing in the next week or so.  I've got some adorable onesies, socks, hats, burp cloths, and hooded towels getting clean for baby right now.  At some point, I will be washing blankets, sheets, etc.  How does one little baby need so many things?

I am also keeping busy researching cloth diapers and trying to figure out which ones I want to order. They are not cheap, initially, but I believe, and the research proves, that this will be a big savings over time.  I am all about saving money.  In addition, I have read from very happy cloth diapering parents that there are less blowouts and rashes due to cloth diapers.  Many who use them say they won't go back to disposable.

I have a few disposables given as gifts, and I may buy one more bag of newborn size disposables just to get me started, but I want to quickly make the shift to cloth.  I left my diaper pail with my parents because we couldn't fit it in the car due to all of our shower gifts, so hopefully by the time I need it my parents will be up here already.  (They are bringing my high chair, too.  I'm so glad my mom has an SUV!)

While I miss my Brian very much, I am definitely keeping busy and focusing on my long "to do" list, trying to get things done and stay organized.  This Saturday is the official one month countdown to our due date.  Today, I spoke out loud and told our baby how much I love him/her, and he/she started moving quite a bit.  I am so ready for this one to be out of my belly and in my arms.  I can't wait to kiss my baby's cheeks about a thousand times.  Such happy things to look forward to!

Monday, April 1, 2013

Next Month!

Just a brief post to say that today is the first day that I am able to say, "Next month we are having a baby."

That makes me SO excited.

Last night I dreamed I had my baby now (with five weeks to go).  It was a boy, and it was the easiest thing ever.  There was no pain and I felt great.

Now in reality, we have a 50/50 chance the baby will be a boy, and as for pain, I believe I have a 100% chance that I'll have some.  Or perhaps, a lot.

I can't believe that I have only five weeks left.  I remember clearly when I found out I was pregnant, which was right around five weeks.  This time now seemed like a mere dream then.  Will these next few weeks move quickly or slowly?

~Precious child of mine, your father and I can't wait for you!~