A sweet lady at my church, who has something like 21 grandchildren (no exaggeration), gave me a copy of this old poem she had hanging on her fridge. I now have it hanging on mine.
Our Child by Dorothy V. Garka
Each little child God sends our way
Is like a piece of soft, new clay;
'Tis ours to mold and shape and trim,
To make it pleasing unto Him.
Each little thing we do or say
Makes an impression, day by day,
On every growing mind and heart,
Forming a pattern from the start.
Oh! What a solemn trust is ours,
How we must guard these precious hours!
Too soon this clay will be as stone-
Our chance is gone- our child is grown.
If we but take the time to pray,
And seek God's guidance every day,
He'll give us strength, and wisdom, too,
To help our child grow strong and true.
I've had this on my fridge for a few months now, but I reread it and it reached out and grabbed me anew this morning. That third stanza almost took my breath away... realizing that all too quickly, Caleb will be grown. And yet, how will he be? Will we have trained him in the way he should go? Will he choose to honor God with his life? This poem is an almost haunting reminder that the things we do and say are more important than the actual lessons we take the time to teach. I know I have both of my parents in me- some of the good and the bad qualities combined. I look at my boy, and I know that he is watching me, even now. "More is caught than taught" as the phrase goes. I could teach him all I want, but the real lessons will be learned as he watches me. Parenthood is a daunting task for sure, and I cannot, cannot do it without the Lord.
It is a scary thing that one day I might see the things I so dislike about myself in my own child! Lord willing, he will be a far better person than I. I pray so!
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
A Pretty Good Team
When I married my husband in August of 2011, I don't think I was fully aware of all of the ways we would balance each other. Of course, I knew him well, but when you live with someone, manage money together, maintain a house, and raise a child, you learn so much more about them, as well as yourself.
We share the same values, so that makes so many things easier. Brian has often joked that if I was addicted to Facebook that probably would have been the deal breaker for him. From the beginning, our values and similar thinking united us.
One of the ways we see we balance each other is dealing with the household budget. While we both share similar values and are both extremely cautious with purchases, we have different ways of going about it. Brian is the budgeting mastermind of the household. I simply could not be bothered with going through all the numbers as he does, and so I am very grateful that he does this. We sit together once a month and go through receipts, track our spending, and make predictions for the next month. I think it is an incredible bore (insert YAWN here), but I know it is necessary, and I try to bring homemade baked goods to the table to make it more interesting.
That being said, Brian dictates where all the money goes. However, the execution of all this is not his strong suit, but it is mine. I have always had strong secretarial skills and am very organized. Therefore, I pay all the bills. I keep the checkbook balanced. (Brian never kept a checkbook register before we got married. Yikes!) It's funny, but since my dad always payed all the bills in our household, I had always thought this was the man's job. When we first got married, we started off each sort of paying what we had done previously on our own. Brian did the apartment phone. I took care of my own credit card, etc. After a few months passed, I quickly saw that Brian wasn't so good at dealing "his" bills, and I began to take over in that department.
It's a good system that works for us, because we are each using our skills and we both know what is going on with the money at all times. We also appreciate the strengths of the other. Brian can make me dizzy talking numbers, which is his strength, while the tediousness of actually paying the bills would put him to sleep.
This is one example of how we easily balance each other. But other ways we balance each other aren't quite so easy. There can be friction when the puzzle pieces don't quite come together as smoothly. I am a go-getter, planner, to-do list maker, let's get it done now kind of person. Brian is for sure a go-getter with his job, but at home, he wants to relax. Which is entirely understandable, but things do need to get done here, too. Now with a baby, I am even more regimented than before, because not only do I have um-teen things to do around the house, but I have to do them around Caleb's needs. My daily schedule, especially in the mornings, is pretty well structured. Brian said to me on Saturday after I put Caleb in his crib for a morning nap, "Can't we just sit on the couch for a little while?" (We had an hour drive to make to go get our taxes done, so the answer was "no, we cannot". I laugh, because somehow, on weekend days, though getting myself ready, getting Caleb ready, cleaning up breakfast, and taking care of some laundry, I am still ready to go before Brian is.
Brian tries to get me to relax more, and I try to push him. It's an example of how we drive each other crazy, yet we know there is something in the other we each need in ourselves. Brian has commented to me that if he married someone like him, good heavens, nothing would ever get done. (For the record, heaven knows how he got along without me for so long.)
In truth, I do need to learn to relax and have fun. It's never been my strong suit. I am hardly ever spontaneous. I remember a time when a friend called me up in high school and asked to hang out, and I simply HAD to vacuum/clean my room first. I didn't want to say no, but I himmed and hawed a little, and realized that if I hurried, I could quickly clean and then go. For me, it's hard to enjoy myself when there is work to be done, but there are times when you just need to let your hair down and go have fun, too. Work will ALWAYS be there. This is a lesson I need to learn from my husband.
Brian has always rubbed onto me spiritually speaking. I won't go into a lengthy discussion here, because I've already been writing too long and Caleb needs a playmate just now. But I am better, my mind is sharper, and my biblical worldview is a little more polished because of my husband.
Two and half years later, I am still a happy camper.
We share the same values, so that makes so many things easier. Brian has often joked that if I was addicted to Facebook that probably would have been the deal breaker for him. From the beginning, our values and similar thinking united us.
One of the ways we see we balance each other is dealing with the household budget. While we both share similar values and are both extremely cautious with purchases, we have different ways of going about it. Brian is the budgeting mastermind of the household. I simply could not be bothered with going through all the numbers as he does, and so I am very grateful that he does this. We sit together once a month and go through receipts, track our spending, and make predictions for the next month. I think it is an incredible bore (insert YAWN here), but I know it is necessary, and I try to bring homemade baked goods to the table to make it more interesting.
That being said, Brian dictates where all the money goes. However, the execution of all this is not his strong suit, but it is mine. I have always had strong secretarial skills and am very organized. Therefore, I pay all the bills. I keep the checkbook balanced. (Brian never kept a checkbook register before we got married. Yikes!) It's funny, but since my dad always payed all the bills in our household, I had always thought this was the man's job. When we first got married, we started off each sort of paying what we had done previously on our own. Brian did the apartment phone. I took care of my own credit card, etc. After a few months passed, I quickly saw that Brian wasn't so good at dealing "his" bills, and I began to take over in that department.
It's a good system that works for us, because we are each using our skills and we both know what is going on with the money at all times. We also appreciate the strengths of the other. Brian can make me dizzy talking numbers, which is his strength, while the tediousness of actually paying the bills would put him to sleep.
This is one example of how we easily balance each other. But other ways we balance each other aren't quite so easy. There can be friction when the puzzle pieces don't quite come together as smoothly. I am a go-getter, planner, to-do list maker, let's get it done now kind of person. Brian is for sure a go-getter with his job, but at home, he wants to relax. Which is entirely understandable, but things do need to get done here, too. Now with a baby, I am even more regimented than before, because not only do I have um-teen things to do around the house, but I have to do them around Caleb's needs. My daily schedule, especially in the mornings, is pretty well structured. Brian said to me on Saturday after I put Caleb in his crib for a morning nap, "Can't we just sit on the couch for a little while?" (We had an hour drive to make to go get our taxes done, so the answer was "no, we cannot". I laugh, because somehow, on weekend days, though getting myself ready, getting Caleb ready, cleaning up breakfast, and taking care of some laundry, I am still ready to go before Brian is.
Brian tries to get me to relax more, and I try to push him. It's an example of how we drive each other crazy, yet we know there is something in the other we each need in ourselves. Brian has commented to me that if he married someone like him, good heavens, nothing would ever get done. (For the record, heaven knows how he got along without me for so long.)
In truth, I do need to learn to relax and have fun. It's never been my strong suit. I am hardly ever spontaneous. I remember a time when a friend called me up in high school and asked to hang out, and I simply HAD to vacuum/clean my room first. I didn't want to say no, but I himmed and hawed a little, and realized that if I hurried, I could quickly clean and then go. For me, it's hard to enjoy myself when there is work to be done, but there are times when you just need to let your hair down and go have fun, too. Work will ALWAYS be there. This is a lesson I need to learn from my husband.
Brian has always rubbed onto me spiritually speaking. I won't go into a lengthy discussion here, because I've already been writing too long and Caleb needs a playmate just now. But I am better, my mind is sharper, and my biblical worldview is a little more polished because of my husband.
Two and half years later, I am still a happy camper.
Friday, February 14, 2014
Valentine's Day
My cup runneth over. That is because I don't have just one man with whom to celebrate Valentine's Day. I have two.
(I feel like I always have laundry in the background in so many photos. I apologize. I don't have a home that looks like it just came from Better Homes & Gardens. I have a real home that sometimes gets messy and I pretty much always have laundry hanging to dry because I like to save money.)
Brian had off from school today due to yesterday's colossal snowstorm, so it was nice to spend Valentine's Day- the whole day- together. We had planned to get Chinese food for dinner (which has become our Valentine's Day tradition), but we never did make it out of our snow-covered driveway. We will get it, though, within the next couple of days!
Brian gave me a beautiful bouquet of flowers inside an equally beautiful porcelain vase, and the biggest box of chocolates he could find. If you are thinking he is an amazing husband, you'd be quite right.
I got Brian a movie he wanted, "The Ultimate Life," and a stud finder with a note that said, "I didn't need this to find my stud, but maybe this will help you find yours!" I also got him a box of chocolates, but it wasn't nearly as big as the box he got me!
It was a wonderful day with the two men that I adore! It is wonderful to love and be loved by them!
(I feel like I always have laundry in the background in so many photos. I apologize. I don't have a home that looks like it just came from Better Homes & Gardens. I have a real home that sometimes gets messy and I pretty much always have laundry hanging to dry because I like to save money.)
Brian had off from school today due to yesterday's colossal snowstorm, so it was nice to spend Valentine's Day- the whole day- together. We had planned to get Chinese food for dinner (which has become our Valentine's Day tradition), but we never did make it out of our snow-covered driveway. We will get it, though, within the next couple of days!
Brian gave me a beautiful bouquet of flowers inside an equally beautiful porcelain vase, and the biggest box of chocolates he could find. If you are thinking he is an amazing husband, you'd be quite right.
I got Brian a movie he wanted, "The Ultimate Life," and a stud finder with a note that said, "I didn't need this to find my stud, but maybe this will help you find yours!" I also got him a box of chocolates, but it wasn't nearly as big as the box he got me!
It was a wonderful day with the two men that I adore! It is wonderful to love and be loved by them!
Caleb: Nine Months
Dear Caleb,
On your nine month birthday, I have just one question for you. Will you be my Valentine?
Today marks one of the last first holidays for you. There aren't too many left before you turn a year old! I was prepared with a cuddly stuffed puppy waiting on your high chair for you this morning. I couldn't let your first Valentine's Day pass without giving you a gift! Then again, I'm sure I'll be giving you little Valentine's gifts for years to come!
Your Daddy and I can scarcely believe how much you have grown. It's enough to make a parent laugh and weep all at the same time. I feel like I can hardly remember the tiny baby we brought home from the hospital. Even the three month old and the five month old are starting to get foggy, and it makes me want to cry when I realize that the little boy I have today will be changing soon enough.
You are finally able to sit up on your own! We've been waiting a while for that. You eventually topple over, but you can remain sitting unassisted for a bit of time. You still have the tendency to fall, sometimes on your face, but in time you will learn how to lower yourself. You are itching to crawl; in fact, you do a pretty good army crawl. You drag yourself around using your arms and you sort of wriggle and scoot to get from Point A to Point B. Really, you can cover a lot of ground! One day soon, you'll find that your knees have joined the rest of the party, and you'll be a full-blown crawler.
You've always been a good eater, and that remains to be true. You are now eating three "meals" a day: usually either cereal or fruit in the morning, bananas and snack puffs for lunch, and dinner is a vegetable and a fruit. You still love your mama's milk, though, and nothing is healthier for you to consume than that.
As far as sleeping goes, you are sleeping well through the night, with a very early bedtime of 5 or 5:30. You are still such a poor napper that I have to put you to bed early because you are so tired. I am still trying to improve your naps, but naps have never been your cup of tea. I won't give up, though!
You love to be twirled around! I cannot wait for the warm weather so that Daddy and I can take you to the park and give you your first push in the swing! You also love to knock down the towers I build out of your little toys... all day long!
Everywhere I go people tell me how handsome you are. Your blue eyes never fail to get compliments. I can't really disagree with any of it!
We love you, our darling Caleb-Bear!
Love,
Your mama
On your nine month birthday, I have just one question for you. Will you be my Valentine?
Today marks one of the last first holidays for you. There aren't too many left before you turn a year old! I was prepared with a cuddly stuffed puppy waiting on your high chair for you this morning. I couldn't let your first Valentine's Day pass without giving you a gift! Then again, I'm sure I'll be giving you little Valentine's gifts for years to come!
Your Daddy and I can scarcely believe how much you have grown. It's enough to make a parent laugh and weep all at the same time. I feel like I can hardly remember the tiny baby we brought home from the hospital. Even the three month old and the five month old are starting to get foggy, and it makes me want to cry when I realize that the little boy I have today will be changing soon enough.
You are finally able to sit up on your own! We've been waiting a while for that. You eventually topple over, but you can remain sitting unassisted for a bit of time. You still have the tendency to fall, sometimes on your face, but in time you will learn how to lower yourself. You are itching to crawl; in fact, you do a pretty good army crawl. You drag yourself around using your arms and you sort of wriggle and scoot to get from Point A to Point B. Really, you can cover a lot of ground! One day soon, you'll find that your knees have joined the rest of the party, and you'll be a full-blown crawler.
You've always been a good eater, and that remains to be true. You are now eating three "meals" a day: usually either cereal or fruit in the morning, bananas and snack puffs for lunch, and dinner is a vegetable and a fruit. You still love your mama's milk, though, and nothing is healthier for you to consume than that.
As far as sleeping goes, you are sleeping well through the night, with a very early bedtime of 5 or 5:30. You are still such a poor napper that I have to put you to bed early because you are so tired. I am still trying to improve your naps, but naps have never been your cup of tea. I won't give up, though!
You love to be twirled around! I cannot wait for the warm weather so that Daddy and I can take you to the park and give you your first push in the swing! You also love to knock down the towers I build out of your little toys... all day long!
Everywhere I go people tell me how handsome you are. Your blue eyes never fail to get compliments. I can't really disagree with any of it!
We love you, our darling Caleb-Bear!
Love,
Your mama
Monday, February 10, 2014
These Days
I get to thinking these days... and reminiscing... and contemplating. Our lives are constantly moving, never still, and boy, they change. Oh, how they change.
My life is pretty predictable at present. (Except for Caleb's naps. They are not, nor have ever been, predictable.) I am a stay-at-home mom, and my life follows a pretty regular routine. I like routines, so that doesn't bother me. This winter has been tough, because the cold has kept me indoors more than I would normally prefer. In fact, due to the cold in January (and a temporary car seat issue), I hardly stepped foot outside the house. The word "hermit" came to my mind a few times throughout the month, but it was all for the good of Caleb. I would brave cold temperatures, but if I don't have to take my baby out, why do so?
I'm very limited in where I can go here in the Poconos. There simply isn't much that is close, and it can be a pain in the neck to drag Caleb out an hour away. So my world sometimes seems... very small. Without family here, nor many friends, there are no visits from mom or sis. It can get lonely.
I remember another time in my life, so vastly different than what I experience now. I had just traveled to Prague, Czech Republic at the end of August 2005. Talk about exciting! At first, however, it was quite lonely and wrought with culture shock. I taught in a public school, and I had 17 classes and some 240 students. It was overwhelming, to say the least, but it stretched me. Gradually, the loneliness faded and the shock wore off.
I traveled a lot that year. I saw a handful of other countries while I was there, and I grew accustomed to sitting on trains while traveling from one country to the next. Mostly I traveled with my teammates, but a couple of times I traveled alone. I remember one time, I was coming home (or I should say- back to Prague) from somewhere (and I honestly can't remember where, perhaps Poland), and my train got delayed. We had to stop on the tracks for some reason, and I sat and chatted with a nice couple from the UK while we waited. As the time went on and on, I worried about making my next connection. This nice couple kept trying to encourage me, and when the conductor came by to give us an update, the gentleman to whom I had been conversing asked him about my connection to Prague. The conductor said something like, "Oh, Prague. That could be a problem," and left without another word. Yikes! When my stop approached, I remember the gentleman helping me with my bags so that I could be ready to spring from the train at the first instant, which I did. I ran as if for life! If I didn't, I didn't know how much longer I'd have to wait! Sleeping overnight at a train station, by myself in a foreign country, was not an appealing prospect.
Thankfully, I ran like the wind and breathlessly made the next train. I think that, it too, had been momentarily delayed. I felt so relieved to collapse, finally, in my seat and head toward my home away from home.
I think about that year in Prague from time to time. All the travels, the people I met, the students I taught, the kindness of strangers who helped out a foreigner. The man who carried my heavy suitcase up a flight of stairs because it was far too heavy for me, the women on the train who told me in no uncertain terms that I had to get off right then to transfer to the next train to get to Krakow. (My ticket said otherwise, but they were, in fact, right.) I saw one beautiful sight after another: castles, bridges, ancient town squares, charming markets. I taught many students, but one class I came to particularly love, and I left part of my heart behind with those darling students. It was a year I will never forget.
Life now doesn't require trains, planes, buses, or trams. I don't get out very much, and if I do, the grocery store and Walmart don't really register very high on the "exciting" barometer. Sometimes, I think that was another girl all together. But those memories are still with me; they have added to the person that I now am. Life may be more mundane, but it is no less important, in fact, it is even more so. I have a little companion to keep me company, and his smiles and his giggles are just as awe-inspiring as those ancient, magnificent castles.
I loved life then, and I love it now. In truth, I love it even more. Give me my husband and my son any day; they are both my adventure and my safe, assuring reality. I wouldn't trade them for the world.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Let It Be
For me, writing is a form of therapy. I've always liked to write, though perhaps my preferred style has changed over the years. When I was in middle school and high school, I was an avid poet. I filled many journals, mostly with poems that were about the Lord.
Poetry is no longer my cup of tea. I prefer ordinary prose which says it like it is. I don't have the time these days to write as I'd like. I've got a baby that needs constant love, attention, and care. Sometimes a blog post is written with a few brief minutes I have to spare, and simply may not be the most well-written, but I still value this little space of mine where I document the blessings and burdens of life, and it is a sweet compilation to me of the ups and downs.
Today I am choosing to smile. I have been hung-up on, nay, OBSESSED with fixing all the wrongs in regards to Caleb's sleep. I was determined to do it all BY THE BOOK. I had to get it right, gosh darn it.
We decided to let Caleb cry it out. For nighttime sleep, it worked pretty much like a dream. He's doing great! He went from having frequent night awakenings to hardly any. (Everybody has awakenings. The point is getting back to sleep quickly and easily.) He's doing fantastic and I couldn't be more proud.
His naps were another story. We tried cry it out for about two weeks, and it simply wasn't working. He would either cry and miss his nap, cry for a while and have a ridiculously short nap (10-20 minutes), or cry and sleep, cry and sleep, only to still have a short nap.
He was becoming increasingly more fearful of his crib, which he never used to be. He used to play happily in there. Now not so. Simply carry him to the rail and the crying would begin. It was getting to be too much for all of us.
Brian and I talked, and we decided to let it be, for now. I will continue to rock, nurse, or do whatever I have to do to get Caleb to nap, according to HIS schedule. The book says two naps, but Caleb needs three simply because he only naps a half hour. It is what it is. Though I certainly do want him to become an independent napper, for now, we think it is best to let go. Perhaps it is too much. He has made huge strides in sleeping overnight. Perhaps we need to enjoy that victory for now.
I was getting so caught up in this sleep obsession that I was almost forgetting to enjoy being a mommy- dreading the next nap and all the crying. This is such a short time in his life, and it is silly to get all worked up over such things.
Sometimes, I need to learn to let go, and simply "let it be". If you were to come to my house right now, you'd see it is, um, rather messy. I was sick earlier this week, and this is the first day I feel like myself again. (Brian even had to stay home from work and help me care for Caleb. I was too weak to do it on my own.) I am looking now at the mess and I am choosing to play with my son instead. The mess will get cleaned up. And when it is cleaned up, there will be other messes to clean. My son, however, will not always be eight months old.
Sometimes, even this tightly-wound girl can learn to loosen up. "It's all right," I'm telling myself. And you know what, I am actually listening. For today, at least!
Poetry is no longer my cup of tea. I prefer ordinary prose which says it like it is. I don't have the time these days to write as I'd like. I've got a baby that needs constant love, attention, and care. Sometimes a blog post is written with a few brief minutes I have to spare, and simply may not be the most well-written, but I still value this little space of mine where I document the blessings and burdens of life, and it is a sweet compilation to me of the ups and downs.
Today I am choosing to smile. I have been hung-up on, nay, OBSESSED with fixing all the wrongs in regards to Caleb's sleep. I was determined to do it all BY THE BOOK. I had to get it right, gosh darn it.
We decided to let Caleb cry it out. For nighttime sleep, it worked pretty much like a dream. He's doing great! He went from having frequent night awakenings to hardly any. (Everybody has awakenings. The point is getting back to sleep quickly and easily.) He's doing fantastic and I couldn't be more proud.
His naps were another story. We tried cry it out for about two weeks, and it simply wasn't working. He would either cry and miss his nap, cry for a while and have a ridiculously short nap (10-20 minutes), or cry and sleep, cry and sleep, only to still have a short nap.
He was becoming increasingly more fearful of his crib, which he never used to be. He used to play happily in there. Now not so. Simply carry him to the rail and the crying would begin. It was getting to be too much for all of us.
Brian and I talked, and we decided to let it be, for now. I will continue to rock, nurse, or do whatever I have to do to get Caleb to nap, according to HIS schedule. The book says two naps, but Caleb needs three simply because he only naps a half hour. It is what it is. Though I certainly do want him to become an independent napper, for now, we think it is best to let go. Perhaps it is too much. He has made huge strides in sleeping overnight. Perhaps we need to enjoy that victory for now.
I was getting so caught up in this sleep obsession that I was almost forgetting to enjoy being a mommy- dreading the next nap and all the crying. This is such a short time in his life, and it is silly to get all worked up over such things.
Sometimes, I need to learn to let go, and simply "let it be". If you were to come to my house right now, you'd see it is, um, rather messy. I was sick earlier this week, and this is the first day I feel like myself again. (Brian even had to stay home from work and help me care for Caleb. I was too weak to do it on my own.) I am looking now at the mess and I am choosing to play with my son instead. The mess will get cleaned up. And when it is cleaned up, there will be other messes to clean. My son, however, will not always be eight months old.
Sometimes, even this tightly-wound girl can learn to loosen up. "It's all right," I'm telling myself. And you know what, I am actually listening. For today, at least!
Sunday, February 2, 2014
On The Move and Baby Sleep
Overnight, it seems, Caleb is getting stronger by leaps and bounds. I don't think it'll be much longer until he is crawling! His tummy is almost completely in the air as he scooches around, and he's trying so hard to get those knees going. He is so interested in everything around him, and it is getting to the point where not much is safe anymore! We've slowly been babyproofing the living room in preparation for the Big Takeoff. We put those lovely multi-colored foam cushions on the fireplace and a very ugly, ill-fitting cover on top of our glass coffee table. Our living room certainly won't be winning any awards here for interior design, but at least it'll keep Caleb safe from bumps and bruises. We don't have the baby gate up yet, but it is here, at least, ready to go.
He still struggles with sitting up. His cousins, twins Matthew and Nathan, didn't sit up until they were nine months, and I think he is headed in the same direction. Let me clarify this, because he CAN sit up. He just can't do it for too long. He usually collapses to the right or left and I can't just put him down in a sitting position and walk away. I have to give him some light support so as to soften the blow when he does topple.
We're still working on his sleep. He is doing pretty well overnight. He can have one rather long awakening, where he can be up for a half our or so, and while he does whimper, I do not go to him. I am trying to let him teach himself to get back to sleep on his own. His naps continue to plague me. I will let him "cry it out" and it is not a quick fix at all. He can cry it out for about forty minutes and nap for ten. It is SO frustrating. He can cry through an entire nap! I have been putting him to bed at night at 5:15 promptly, because in my reading, I have discovered that an early bedtime can eventually help his naps be more lengthy and restorative. Again, it is not a quick fix, but I am praying that by routinely giving him a considerably early bedtime, his naps will work themselves out. Naps affect nighttime sleep and nighttime sleep affects naps. I believe his awakenings at night are due to the fact that he has such poor naps. If he learns to nap better, I will move his bedtime back to a more normal time of 6:30 or so, but for now, he is staying put at 5:15. It has been frustrating, and it is especially so when I need to go out for doctor appointments. He really isn't following a nap schedule yet. Try as I might to be putting him on one, he refuses to yield. And it absolutely breaks this mother's heart to hear him cry on and on and STILL not get the sleep he needs. It would be easy, at these times, to pile into the car and let him sleep there, but I am trying oh, so hard to not rely on that. As it is, I have learned that that kind of sleep is not very restorative, so if he does fall asleep in the car these days, it is because he didn't nap and I simply have to go somewhere, and he can't help but fall asleep there. I do not consider that a victory, however.
I also feel it is important to mention some quick thoughts on the hotly debated topic of "crying it out". For so long, I really didn't want to try it. I didn't think it was "evil", as many out there call it. I simply didn't think I'd have the gumption to withstand my baby's crying. It is hard. In fact, I'll venture to say it's is one of the hardest things I've ever done- still am doing. (I have even cried along with him at times- in a separate room of course.) It would be one thing if he cried and had a great, fantastic nap afterward. Since it is such a short nap (really not a nap at all), or he cries through the nap, it is so very disappointing. However, I believe that if I look at the big picture, and keep that goal in mind, I can try to focus more clearly. This crying that tears my heart out now, I pray, will bring peaceful sleep in the days to come. For all my rocking, nursing, swinging, etc., Caleb wasn't a very good sleeper on his best days. This is a skill he needs to acquire, and if there were some way to acquire it without crying, I'd be the first one to sign up. Crying has helped TREMENDOUSLY with nighttime sleep. We saw results so quickly that we stuck with it. If the naps could only climb aboard, we'd be in great shape.
I pray that my son learns soon that sleep is not a thing to fight or be feared. I simply want him to have this most precious gift- the gift of peaceful sleep.
He still struggles with sitting up. His cousins, twins Matthew and Nathan, didn't sit up until they were nine months, and I think he is headed in the same direction. Let me clarify this, because he CAN sit up. He just can't do it for too long. He usually collapses to the right or left and I can't just put him down in a sitting position and walk away. I have to give him some light support so as to soften the blow when he does topple.
We're still working on his sleep. He is doing pretty well overnight. He can have one rather long awakening, where he can be up for a half our or so, and while he does whimper, I do not go to him. I am trying to let him teach himself to get back to sleep on his own. His naps continue to plague me. I will let him "cry it out" and it is not a quick fix at all. He can cry it out for about forty minutes and nap for ten. It is SO frustrating. He can cry through an entire nap! I have been putting him to bed at night at 5:15 promptly, because in my reading, I have discovered that an early bedtime can eventually help his naps be more lengthy and restorative. Again, it is not a quick fix, but I am praying that by routinely giving him a considerably early bedtime, his naps will work themselves out. Naps affect nighttime sleep and nighttime sleep affects naps. I believe his awakenings at night are due to the fact that he has such poor naps. If he learns to nap better, I will move his bedtime back to a more normal time of 6:30 or so, but for now, he is staying put at 5:15. It has been frustrating, and it is especially so when I need to go out for doctor appointments. He really isn't following a nap schedule yet. Try as I might to be putting him on one, he refuses to yield. And it absolutely breaks this mother's heart to hear him cry on and on and STILL not get the sleep he needs. It would be easy, at these times, to pile into the car and let him sleep there, but I am trying oh, so hard to not rely on that. As it is, I have learned that that kind of sleep is not very restorative, so if he does fall asleep in the car these days, it is because he didn't nap and I simply have to go somewhere, and he can't help but fall asleep there. I do not consider that a victory, however.
I also feel it is important to mention some quick thoughts on the hotly debated topic of "crying it out". For so long, I really didn't want to try it. I didn't think it was "evil", as many out there call it. I simply didn't think I'd have the gumption to withstand my baby's crying. It is hard. In fact, I'll venture to say it's is one of the hardest things I've ever done- still am doing. (I have even cried along with him at times- in a separate room of course.) It would be one thing if he cried and had a great, fantastic nap afterward. Since it is such a short nap (really not a nap at all), or he cries through the nap, it is so very disappointing. However, I believe that if I look at the big picture, and keep that goal in mind, I can try to focus more clearly. This crying that tears my heart out now, I pray, will bring peaceful sleep in the days to come. For all my rocking, nursing, swinging, etc., Caleb wasn't a very good sleeper on his best days. This is a skill he needs to acquire, and if there were some way to acquire it without crying, I'd be the first one to sign up. Crying has helped TREMENDOUSLY with nighttime sleep. We saw results so quickly that we stuck with it. If the naps could only climb aboard, we'd be in great shape.
I pray that my son learns soon that sleep is not a thing to fight or be feared. I simply want him to have this most precious gift- the gift of peaceful sleep.
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