Brian & Courtney : 9 Years

Nine years.

Nine years of putting up with one another's imperfections, shortcomings, and flaws.  Nine years of supporting, encouraging, and loving.  Nine years of growing together, sharpening one another, and following after God.

Three kids.  1 house.  2 cars.  

As we celebrated our day today, I told Brian, "Okay, this time 9 years ago, you could have still backed out.  Do you wish you had?"  

He assures me he still would say, "I do."

And so would I.  And so I do.  I still do.

We do.

Today and everyday.  Today and forty years from now.  Today and always.

I love you, Darling!  

Anna: 6 Months

This picture was taken at 8:36 a.m., the exact minute she was born 6 months ago, on a Thursday just like today.

I cannot stand how adorable these ruffle sleeves are!  Give me this shirt in my size, please!

 This is our Anna Lynn after her very first solid food!

Our Anna is half a year old already!  Boy, do we love her to pieces!

I gave Anna her first solid food today.  I am planning to do all homemade purees, soups, and even a drink or two until she is ready to chew more things.  Today I gave her some pureed butternut squash mixed with a bit of breast milk.  I'll be adding other things into her vegetable and fruit purees, such as homemade chicken broth from quality pastured chickens, sauerkraut juice, lard, and even homemade yogurt or kefir.

She, of course, made adorable faces when we gave her her first food, and Daddy was there to capture it all on video.  At one point, she grabbed hold of the spoon and even guided it into her mouth (while I still held on, of course).  I consider that a pretty good achievement.  We got two or three spoonfuls in when she seemed to have had enough.

Anna is an expert at rolling over on her right side from back to tummy.  She's able to stay longer on her tummy than she used to, and now I no longer have to "do tummy time" since she does it herself.  Caleb often joins her and plays with her when she's down on the floor.  She gets mad after a time, and that's it, she's done, come get her.  Sometimes she rolls over in the crib, too, and the other morning, she gave me a heart attack, when she fell asleep face down, as in, completely face down with nose to the mattress.  I was right there in the room with her, in and out of sleep myself, and I didn't know!  I saw her, and didn't bother to check for breathing, but rolled her right back over.  Needless to say, I startled the poor baby, and she went from sleeping to crying.  Well, I'd rather have a crying baby than a not-breathing baby!  Boy, these babies love to scare us!

She fits better in 9 month clothes at this point, and her 3-6 month shirts are starting to ride up her torso.  However, I need to stretch these summer clothes out as long as the weather is hot, so she's stuck in her 6 month stuff for now.  I might have to look for some 9 month summer clearance clothes, because I sure don't want to pay a lot for only a bit of wear!  That is the annoying part of baby clothes, for sure!

As I've said before, she's sleeping in our room until the unforeseeable future.  I decided to decorate a bit and hang some of her things in our room, because I was sick of waiting until she had her own room, whenever that may be.  While it can be very hard to share a room with a baby (goodness, one rustle of the sheet and she stirs), it has its good points.  I love waking up to her smile each morning.  She is so bright with wide-eyed wonder, and even if I'm super groggy, just wanting to say good morning to her causes me to start my day with a grin!

We are so thankful for our Anna!  

Happy Birthday, Silas! 5 Years

Today's the day we celebrate our Silas!  For sure, there is a lot of hard stuff we're going through with him right now, but we won't talk about those things on this day.  It's his birthday, so we're here to celebrate the good!

Our Silas loves music!  Brian hears him sometimes singing right on pitch, and he responds to songs, especially children singing, so well.  He loves the Cedarmont Kids DVDs (thanks to my sister for getting us started on those), and we got him a new DVD for his birthday.  He often can be heard singing the songs even when they aren't playing, albeit, his vocals and pronunciations are rough around the edges.  

He's come around to Anna quite a bit.  When we first brought her home, he didn't know what to make of her for a time, but he was never mean to her in any way, as sometimes can happen with a new baby.  He makes it a point to greet her in the morning when in her high chair, and he looks to me as he does so, making sure I see him as he acknowledges her.  If she drops a toy, he will pick it up and give it back, but I hold my breath, or run over to help, because he often throws it at her, and I need to soften the blow.  He also helps me move her chair over to the table at breakfast, and he even scoots the floor rocker out of the way so we can do so.

Silas loves the park.  If we drive by a park and we aren't stopping, we must be prepared for tears.  He is always ready to run and play, and he loves the swings and slides.

Routines are important to Silas, and he helps where he can.  When it is time for morning snack, usually a banana if we have them, he gets out the butter knife for me so I can cut it up.  He gets out the cod liver oil at dessert time in the evening, and he takes it without reservation.  He also puts it away, sometimes to my annoyance, if I haven't given Anna hers yet.  :)  But I am glad he is doing these things.

As far as his speech, he is saying more words and phrases.  Mostly, though, he still repeats us, and doesn't speak so much conversationally.  His speech is also still very hard to understand.  That is why we play so much music for him, of children singing and such, because it draws him out as he tries to sing some of those words.

We still pray for his healing.  We continue to see a nutritionist and ZYTO technician who directs us in the supplements his body needs, and we continue to do music therapy as a way of drawing him out. 

Most of all, we know Jesus loves him, and in some of the not-so-great moments, I sing out loud, "I believe He is the Christ, Son of the Living God" (Andrew Peterson song, as quoted from Peter in the Bible).  And you know what?  It not only calms him (most of the time), but he is starting to sing it, too!

Even though I have a baby, he is still a mama's boy, and he tries to get his affection in however he can!  I am grateful he hasn't given up on me yet :)

Silas, we love you, and we pray God's blessing over you.  Numbers 6: 24-26.  Always.

Little guy was tuckered out on his own birthday!

Here's his smile as we finished singing "Happy Birthday" and he knows cupcakes are coming!

Waiting

While I'm Waiting

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

By:  John Waller, movie "Fireproof"

I needed to hear this song today.  Waiting is excruciating at times.  Waiting for God to move.  To change things.  To make new paths.  To reveal His will.  To heal.  To bind up wounds.  To make all things new.

You've been there, I'm sure.  We all have.  There are times I've railed at God, perhaps not always in words, but in my heart.  "You don't care," my heart would whisper.  "I pray and ask and pray and ask, and NOTHING!  Well, fine, if that's the way You want it!  I'll be a Christian in salvation, but forget going deeper.  I can't take any more!"

Then came the conviction.  Who am I to berate an Almighty God, for not doing what I think is best?  He already sent His Son to die for me.  One day I will not just stand before Him, I will fall at His feet and worship.  It is far better to worship Him now, then to wait until later. 

As this song so clearly inspires, I am choosing to trust.  Some days, it is all that I have.  Some moments, shouting the name of Jesus is all I have left.  But in the waiting, I am hopeful that He is changing me in the process, refining me, and making me new.

I hope this might encourage someone else today.  He's waiting with you.  He's waiting with me.  We don't always get the answer when we want, when we want it.  But He hasn't abandoned us.  We must not forget it.  

Lately, even though I have not seen the changes I am looking for, my faith is remaining stronger and wavering less and less.  In my weakest moments, I call out to Him.  Sometimes I sing a worship song or put on a CD.  Either way, it lifts my heart.  My problems didn't disappear, but my sorrowful heart turned a corner.  

"Some through the waters, some through the flood
Some through the fire, but all through the blood
Some through great sorrow, but God gives a song
In the night season and all the day long."

"God Leads Us Along"- Gaither Vocal Band.

A Bit of Mama Reflection

“Cleaning and scrubbing can wait ‘til tomorrow, for babies grow up we’ve learned to our sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs and dust go to sleep; I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.”

I came across this lovely little poem today, and my heart just melted.  Every mother is the CEO of a major company.  She's in charge of so many things.  It can be downright overwhelming.  She's got to tend to the laundry, the cooking, the baking, the cleaning.  And we all know that all of those are non-stop, never-ending, and when you do them all from top to bottom, you have to start right back up again!  The homeschool mom even has teaching on her list!

If you know me at all, I am a stickler for doing my own chores.  I have a schedule, and I try to keep it.  You will never see piled up laundry in the hamper nor dirty dishes in my sink.  (And I wash my dishes by hand because my dishwasher works terribly.)

But... but... don't think I am bragging.  Heavens, no!  I can tell you plenty of my shortcomings.  I don't dust as nearly as much as I should.  There are many piles of things that need sorting or reorganizing or just some plain old attention.  I look around my house most days and think, "What a mess!"

And then I stop and think, someday I'll have a clean home.  Someday my house will be magazine picture-perfect.  You won't find dust nor will you see messy piles.  You won't spot the dirt my boys' shoes tracked in from our gravel driveway, nor will you see the toys scattered here and there.   And you absolutely will not see the hand prints all over my sliding glass door, despite more than one cleaning a season!

But that empty nest won't be nearly as fun without all the laughter and chatter and little feet running about, will it?  

So for today, I will embrace the messy house, the boys who scamper about and wreak havoc, and my baby who interrupts my well-planned schedules to maintain order.  

After all, THEY are the reason I do what I do in the first place.  The house is going to burn one day anyway.  It is their souls I am after to win to eternity.  Nothing else matters.

Caleb, Silas, and Anna, I love you more than words.  Forgive me for not being a better mama.  I am trying, and am always trying, to improve.  Be patient with me!  I am a slow learner.  Love, Mama 

Lost & Caught

Last night, a seven year-old boy lost his first tooth!  We had been prepping Caleb for over a year now about losing his first tooth.  We bought a book and read it faithfully until almost memorized about a bear having a loose tooth.  It was kind of funny, because Anna cut her first tooth at the same time that Caleb's first tooth began to wiggle!  Caleb can tend to be a little squeamish, and he didn't spend time tugging on his tooth or trying to hasten its departure.  Finally, last night, it was so loose, I begged him to let me pull it.  I was afraid he would swallow it during his sleep!  He consented, and it was hardly a tug on my part at all.  It was ready!  Out it came, and Caleb began jumping up and down!

And today, Daddy took him fishing for the first time!  This boy is going places!