Another New Family Member

Before I get to the real topic of this post, I spoke too soon yesterday.  I said that Silas was doing fairly well in the bassinet... I think he heard me, because he decided that he wasn't having it again. I got him to nap there this morning, but since then, no go.  I do believe in cry-it-out, but I won't overdo it, yet.  Plus, at five naps a day, crying it out for twenty minutes or more each time is TOO much for this mama's heart.  Bit by bit, little by little, we'll get there.

I wanted to share my sister's news.  She's expecting her fifth child.

This was completely unexpected.  She gave away all her baby things after having four children. She and her husband believed they were done.  In fact, they only ever tried to have three children. Of course, the twins were a surprise, so there were four.  This was an "oops!" pregnancy, and it has taken her time to adjust and sort of embrace the idea once again.

So, back to her go the three big bags of maternity clothes she gave me!  I have been packing things up, getting ready to send them back to her, since my parents are visiting this weekend and can handle the exchange.

I told her not to give them away, because Brian and I are not yet certain we are done.  Not certain, folks.  Not trying, not preventing.  In any case, it's neither here nor there only two months postpartum.

The beauty of it is that we were pregnant at the same time, for a brief time.  Yet, she didn't tell me until the morning after Silas was born.  I scolded her for not telling me sooner, but she didn't want to rain on my parade, so to speak.  I told her I'm not so self-absorbed that I can't share her news!  I was shocked, stunned, and I had thought that sleep-deprivation from giving birth the night before caused me to hallucinate the news.  But it is true.

She's due in March, and this will be the closest age gap between one of my children and any cousin.  Silas and her little one will be only seven months apart.

I feel bad, though, that I have always reaped the benefits of having a sister go before me and pass on so many baby things, and since I am still in baby mode, there isn't much I can give her.  Many of the things I have we are the first owners of, such as car seats, but many of the big items that are hard to transfer were originally hers.  Bassinet, toddler bed, etc.  I feel bad that they have to start out once again, but I know God is already blessing them with a few used freebies.

For my parents, this is their eighth grandchild!  Christmas is getting expensive in our family...

I just wish we lived closer so we could share our lives more and more.  There is only so much you can do over the phone.

I look forward to being an aunt once again!

Side note:  Brian has always been saying to me that he didn't think they were finished.  I told him he was crazy.  Looks like he was right!

Tummy Time Help (and Other Random Ramblings)

Tummy time appears to be one of the worst forms of torture to inflict upon your helpless infant.  It is all for the good, of course, for strengthening those neck muscles in the hopes of gaining a bit of independence.  But to put your baby on the floor and basically watch them eat the carpet is not a fun experience.

However, when your big brother joins you, it isn't so bad, is it?  As soon as I lay Silas down, Caleb joins him.  It is fun to see, and brings joy to this mama's heart.  Caleb seems to really love his little brother.

This doesn't mean, however, that he has never hit him.  He has hit him in the head with his hand, fist, and objects several times.  I don't think it is out of jealousy, but rather to make me mad/get a reaction out of me, because he knows I will react.  He's a stinker, this one.  For the most part, though, he gives his brother kisses and lots of love.

I have been working hard on getting Silas established with taking his naps solely in the bassinet.  I had a couple of rough days last week when he was so fussy he could not sleep any which way.  Not in the bassinet, in the swing, nursing, rocking, holding, whatever.  After that, I became more determined to get him to sleep in his bassinet.  After all, he is getting older, and he is becoming more aware of noises.  And let's face it, Caleb doesn't exactly tiptoe around here if Silas is sleeping in the living room.

I began putting him down in the bassinet, and only in the bassinet, except for when we have to go out and he naturally falls asleep in the car.  (I only go out on weekends because I'm not supposed to be driving yet, since the seizure.)

Babies can only handle being awake for two hours at a time, so after he wakes up, he's down again between one and two hours, depending on his drowsy signs.  I lay him down and yes, he cries.  And no, I don't like it.  The cry-it-out vs. no-cry theories are hotly debated.  The no-cry people basically think the cry-it-out types are the most inhumane creatures on the planet.  I tried the no-cry method with Caleb, and the poor baby was so overtired from lack of sleep.  The time came when it was hard to get him to sleep with rocking and what have you, and he didn't know how to get to sleep on his own.  I had to do cry-it-out so he could learn this lifelong skill.  I decided to start with Silas earlier so we can avoid the drama that we had to endure with Caleb... Silas is doing fairly well.  If he is in absolutely hysterics, I will try something else or try again later.  However, letting him cry for a little bit and then falling asleep and getting uninterrupted sleep away from sound seems to be the best thing right now.  He is sleeping better on his own then he does in the swing, for example, where Caleb's loud outbursts cause him to jump over and over again.  Right now, Silas is having about five naps a day in the bassinet.  He is still too little for a schedule- I just go by him and when he last wakes up as well as drowsy signs.  A schedule will develop later, when his brain develops and matures.

I have read A LOT about baby sleep.  And yet, people gave me so much UNSOLICITED advice with Caleb.  I got picked on, so to speak, for working my day around Caleb's naps.  That, folks, is what you are SUPPOSED to do.  Sleep for a baby/toddler is as important as eating.  That is not to say that you cannot ever take a trip somewhere and disrupt the schedule, but on a daily basis, mama needs to make every effort to make her baby's naps a priority.  Caleb is now an excellent sleeper because I FOUGHT HARD to make him that way.  It did not just happen on its own.  For all the people who looked at me askew, I paid them no mind and went on doing what I knew was right.

Silas is sleeping reasonably well overnight, with usually three awakenings, maybe two.  For now, since he is only two months old, I still feed him when he wakes up.  In probably no more than two months, if he keeps waking up, I will solicit Brian's help in comforting him and putting him back down without food.  By four months or so, maybe five, he should be able to sleep without as many feedings.  We will need to train him to not expect those feedings, and that is where I will need Brian. If I pick up him, of course he is going to root and expect milk.  Again, I did not do this with Caleb, and I was exhausted for months on end.  The truth is, they don't NEED milk overnight (at a certain point), but have come to expect it.

Silas, Caleb, and I are trapped indoors these days, due to my driving ban.  My license hasn't been revoked or anything like that, and the truth is I did drive one day.  Brian was sick, down on the couch, and I needed a prescription that was becoming an emergency.  I left the boys home with him and took myself on the ten minute drive down the street.  So, in desperate situations, I'll go out on my own, but I won't bring the boys unless the house is on fire or something like that.  I just had a second EEG on Friday, but I won't know the results for some time yet.

Is it hard being trapped in doors?  Yes and no.  It leaves me uninterrupted time to focus on Silas's sleep!  But yes, it is hard to be stuck inside so much.  No rides down the street for iced coffee at Dunkin Donuts, or just a drive to see something else besides these four walls.  For a stay-at-home mom without family living close, it is tough.  However, God is good.  I have a warm house and food to eat, a husband to love me, and sons to love.  I won't complain.

Here is a picture of Brian holding our Silas:

Silas: Two Months

Dear Silas,

It is still hard for this mama to believe that one year ago, you still were not yet in existence.  Not even as a tiny dot inside my belly.  Your daddy and I were trying, after several months with no success, to get pregnant again.  It wasn't until last November that you were conceived.

I remember clearly how I felt then, so ready for another child, yet having trouble bringing you about. I wondered if Caleb would be our one and only.  God was so good to give us you!  Our family feels so different with you now, so much fuller, so much more complete.  Caleb has a best friend and a playmate in you... you just have to catch up to him!

You are starting to smile more and more!  If Daddy and I make silly sounds, we are often rewarded with your smile.  You love to make eye contact, and you also love to stare at objects on the ceiling, such as a light fixture or a ceiling fan.

You are still keeping me up at night, which is okay, because you are still little.  You usually wake up to feed three times each night, or maybe two, depending.  In a couple of months or so, if you are still waking to feed, we may be doing some tough love there and letting you "cry it out", a thing which I avoided with your brother for a long time, to the detriment of all.  I hope to not repeat the same mistakes I made once before!  I have learned the hard way.  He is an excellent sleeper now, so I hope to have the same success with you.

No one on earth would accuse me of not feeding you enough, because you are a bit pudgy, my sweet little boy!  In the beginning, your nursing sessions were so brief, I wondered if you'd ever gain weight. No worries now!  You are a chunker, that's for sure!  But at this age, it is oh, so cute, and no doubt you'll thin out in good time.

For now, you still sleep right beside me, and I'm fine with that.  When you are ready to sleep through the night, we will be transitioning you to your brother's room.  We want to wait so that you don't wake him up!  I love having you near me at this stage, and no doubt, I'll be sad to see you move on when the time comes.  You are only this little for a short time, my darling boy.  I'm not in a hurry to let you go just yet.

We love you, Silas!  Thank you for adding so much to our family.  We just can't do without you!

Love,
Your mama

How Silas Got His Name

So... it has been a while.  I inadvertently took a blogging break.  Actually, I love to write, and I'd gladly write here every day if only I had the time.  But with a toddler and an almost two-month old, my own "me" time is very small indeed.  My shower is usually even rushed because I can sometimes hear Silas fussing through the streams of water, and I always feel bad for my husband, who is no doubt exhausted himself after a full day of work (and Caleb is a handful on his own).

I wanted to write about why we named our son Silas Carl, and how we came to that decision.

Funny thing is, we have a girl's name all picked out.  We had it picked out long before we settled on Caleb's name (remember, we didn't know the gender).  We actually finalized Caleb's name two days before he was born (and he was late).  It is a name I liked and could see myself naming my daughter before I was ever married, and thankfully, Brian agreed.  We settled on a middle name together, (the first name and middle name were actually a full name of one of my former students), and we left it at that.

But alas, we have not yet been able to use this name!

For whatever reason, we have struggled long and hard for both Caleb and Silas.  I have already told Caleb's story on this blog; now it is Silas's turn.

The middle name was easy, and we began there.  Brian wanted to honor his grandfather, Carl, and I had no problem with it.  From all that he has said, he was a remarkable man, and my own grandfather on my father's side was pretty horrible.  No joke, no lie.  He was a terrible man.  I didn't really know him, but he was married four times because he just couldn't seem to like anyone long enough to stay with them.  My mother's father died when I was four, and I don't remember much about him.

So, Carl sounded good to me, and I know it meant a lot to Brian.

Now, for the first name.

We knew we wanted to keep with the biblical theme we had already begun with Caleb.  So for months, Brian and I would toss Bible names out to one another.  Brian would say, "How about Hezekiah?  Ezekiel?" or some such.  We seriously went through about every male name in the Bible.

Except for Silas.

We were pretty set on Noah for a while.  I actually wrote Noah Carl + our last name on a piece of paper.  Then I read an article about how Noah has been at the top of the name charts for the past five years or so.  Um, no thanks.  We didn't want a name THAT popular.

About this time, I had heard of a celebrity couple who named their newborn son "Silas".  Now, let me be clear.  I could CARE LESS about celebrities and their goings-on.  But when I heard that, I instantly said, "Oh, there's a name from the Bible we didn't even think about!"

I mentioned it to Brian, and he wasn't too enthused.  Neither was I- yet.  But I at least wanted to consider it.  It was different, yes.  However, I didn't want to rule it out.

The months went by, and we kept coming back to it, and over time, it completely worked its way into our hearts.  At exactly 35 weeks along, we committed, and began calling him by his name.

As far as meaning goes, it isn't loaded.  It means "forest" or "woods".  However, he was Paul's missionary companion, and if he's good enough for Paul, he's good enough for me.  After all, they were locked in prison, in shackles no less, and they sat there singing songs and praises to God.  That is far better than I would have behaved in the same situation.

We are absolutely in love with the name now.  My family was slow to like it, and I think it took them time to warm up to it.

And, for the record, don't Caleb and Silas sound great together?  Same amount of letters, same set up of consonants and vowels.  (Yes, the English teacher in me thinks of all of these things.)

More than the name, however, we love the little boy behind it.  I hardly remember this family before he came along... and frankly, I don't even care to!