Dearest Anna,
We had such a gray, gloomy fall. So when the sun finally sent streams of light into our living room the past couple of days, you noticed. You can't crawl yet, but you can pull yourself around, and you went after those rays of sunshine streaming on the floor. You tried to touch them, pat them, and capture them, only to find that you could not latch on.
Life can be like that. Oh, life can throw us some hard times. You will one day leave the magic of childhood and discover that life isn't so easy. It sends us more dreary weather days than cheery ones. But, it does give us rays of sunshine. I want you, dear girl, to always do what you tried to do today. Reach out and grab hold of those rays. Never stop looking for them. Sometimes, they like to hide. And though you can't physically touch them, you can let them warm your soul.
As I wait for Christmas in two days, I marvel at the gift of YOU. Daddy and I like to joke that you were our Valentine's gift to each other, being born just one day before. Last year at Christmas, I dreamed of you, even getting your stocking and hanging it up. My own dear mama bought you two ornaments with your name on them, that we put on the tree as we waited for you.
Now you are here! The girl we dreamed of for years is here to celebrate the wonderful holiday with us! I dreamed of you for almost my whole life! When I was a little girl, I wanted a little sister so badly. I had a big sister, but I had the desire to nurture and be a mini mommy even back then. When I realized I was to remain the youngest, my thoughts turned toward a daughter as the years went by. The idea to name you Anna came to me when I was fairly young. I'm not even sure of the age. With my middle name being Ann and my last name containing "anna", well, it felt right. At my baby shower last year, I remember telling my aunts "It's always been with me." Not just the name, but the dream of YOU.
The Anna in the Bible, in Luke 2, is a special lady, a prophetess who waited for the coming of Christ for years. I remember standing in the bookstore with your daddy when we were dating, and I looked up and saw "Anna" on those Scripture name cards that used to be so popular. I wasn't looking through them at all; something else had my attention at the moment. But I looked up and saw "Anna". The God of the Universe stopped me in my tracks, and He whispered to me that I would have a daughter with that name.
It sounds weird to say such a thing. But I know He spoke to me. I can't even say He has ever spoken to me like that again, in that same way. Over the years, when our dream of you seemed to be getting snuffed out and all but buried, the memory of that day still lingered with me.
This year, we rejoice that you are with us! Oh, it is clear you are, in fact, no angel sent down in the form of a baby. Your personality is starting to form, and you have already proven yourself to be a sinner, just like the rest of us. (Putting you on the changing table these days is evidence of that!) But you are ours! You are the girl we waited for. You are the girl we wanted for so, so long.
Dearest girl, I am so happy to be your mama! I am not perfect or even close. I can give you a dreadfully long list of my flaws any day of the week. But, I will tell you when I am wrong. I will tell you I am sorry. I will ask for your forgiveness. That is what love does. And I pray we will form a strong bond as we both follow after God.
I will not dictate your life or tell you what to dream. But, I will encourage you to go after the dreams God gives you. I will tell you to chase after the sunshine like you did today. Don't let the seeming impossibilities stop you. If God has put something on your heart to do, then do it. Follow Him all your days. Whatever you do, don't stop dreaming your God-given dreams.
You are here because we couldn't let go of the dream that God gave us.
I love you forever and always.
Merry Christmas, my daughter.
Love,
Mama
Story behind this little Skye, the pink Paw Patrol puppy:
My mom had bought Caleb the Marshall Paw Patrol puppy years ago. He liked firemen, so it was perfect. We bought all of the figurines and trucks, minus the girl ones. Still, he loved his little stuffed animal best. We happened to be at a mall a couple of years ago, in a bookstore that sold quite a number of toys. Caleb noticed this little Skye, just like his Marshall, and picked her up. It seemed like he wanted me to get her, but I remember telling him we had no girls at home, and it looked like she'd belong best to a little girl.
As we left the store, I couldn't help but feel like she was supposed to come with us. At the time, there didn't seem to be a reason...
This Christmas, she was one of the first presents I purchased.
Enough said!
