Anna: 12 Months

Dearest Anna Lynn,

Oh, where does one begin, when one's heart is overflowing with emotions, spilling over with love, and bursting the floodgates with fuzzy feelings?

Give me a moment, and I will get myself together.

Our dear girl, how we love you!  Here we were today, showering you with gifts, when we have been the ones who have received the greatest gift- the gift of being your parents.  

Everyone says it, and it is no less true here.  This year has flown by!  I can scarcely believe it, and I have to look back at my old blog posts to see the proof myself.  Didn't we bring you home from the hospital just last month?  Surely it was!  It couldn't possibly have been one year ago.  I don't believe it for a second.

And yet, here you are.  The newborn is gone, but in its place is a chubby toddler.  No, you aren't walking, or anywhere close, but the experts say that once you reach a year, you are a toddler.  I say "nonsense" to that for now.  You are still my baby, and will be for a while.

Oh, darling girl, you are busy these days!  You are crawling all over, and you are into everything.  Caleb still gets mad when you get in his stuff, which is about ten times a day.  You just learned how to use the little hammer toy this past week, and I was so proud of you as you studied me first doing it, and then you gave it a try for yourself, and successfully pounded the ball into the hole.  You wave and point here and there, when you feel like it, and you love to turn through the pages of a book.  At naptime, you almost put me to sleep, as I watch you over and over turn the pages, and nothing is more soothing to me than watching people (kids especially) turn through pages of a book, engrossed in the task.  I have to rouse myself to properly put you down!

Speaking of naps, you are a stinky napper.  I have tried and tried.  Allowing you to cry-it-out, redoing the routine again after a short nap and putting you back down... it doesn't work.  I have learned to let it go and be grateful for the sleep you do get.  You sleep well overnight at least.  You are down early, since you are a lousy napper, and for now your bedtime is around 5:30-5:45 depending.  You sleep generally until 5 a.m., at which point I come in to nurse you, and depending on the day, sometimes put you down for more sleep.  In that case, you usually sleep once again until 6-6:15.  Then we start our day!

You enjoy being read to, and you love it when I point to the alphabet letters in a book and sing the song.  I wouldn't be surprised if you know some of them by now.  We spend our days playing together, and you can be sure Caleb is always ready to join us on the floor, and many times he sits with you when I am busy in the kitchen.  You love it when we build towers that you can knock down, and you enjoy banging your mini cymbals together.  Daddy can work with you on that and any other instrument you desire to learn when you are ready for more!  

Kitty still makes you smile, though you have settled down a bit.  Daddy swore he heard you say "kitty" one day, though I didn't hear it myself.  You say a lot of "da da" but I haven't heard too much else yet.  

I love to get your attention by singing one of my songs for you.  You get all excited and your arms start waving and the bouncing begins as you wait for me to swoop you up.  I thought Silas was a "mama's boy" and he was in every sense, but you are proving to be a "mama's girl" too.  You keep me on a tight leash.  You are always looking for me, crawling to me, demanding my attention, wanting to nurse, or just wanting my company.  Sometimes, I sneak to the store when you are down for nap, and Daddy gets you when you wake up.  He always reports you are disgruntled when you awake to find me not there.  As soon as I appear, the desperate fuss begins, as if you are saying to me, "How dare you leave, and make sure you don't do that again!"  Oh, dear girl, I am never gone too long, and my heart couldn't belong to you any more than it already does.  You have nothing to fear.  

My sweetheart girl, I rejoice in the gift that God gave us in you.  We are so happy to have the daughter we waited for, for so long.  You have given us joy right when we needed it.  It isn't always an easy house to be in.  Silas, your big brother whom you try to get to know, but stands aloof from you, is in the height of meltdowns, and the days are often hard.  I pray this won't affect you negatively, but we have to leave that in God's hands for now.  We have to trust that the God who gave us you, knowing our circumstances, will see us through.

I look forward to the next few months and watching you learn new skills!  I can't wait for the spring and the park, the slides, and the swings.  You are going to love it all, no doubt!  In the next month or two, you'll be taking those first steps!  When you are in my lap, you are trying to get on your feet, with your arms holding onto me for support.  I'll be there for you, Anna Darling, when you need me to hold on as you gain your strength.  And I'll be there, too, when you need me to let go.  No matter what, I'll be cheering you on.

Anna Lynn, thank you for making our dreams come true!  For years we wondered where you were, if we'd ever have you.  Well, you're here now.  Not late at all, but right on time, according to God's plan.

We love you!  And we love the God who made you!  We will teach you about Him too, my girl.  Life is a gift that He gives, so let us give our lives back to Him.

Happy first birthday!  We love you forever.

Love,

Mama and Daddy

Anna is wearing a felt crown that my sister mailed to us in time for her birthday, a hand-me-down and worn for years by nieces Emily and Lindsey on their birthdays.  We are glad to continue the tradition!  Still a little big, but she'll grow into it!

Anna: 11 Months

What is it about babies that we find so irresistible?  Is it the giggles and squeals of delight?  Is it the baby soft skin that reminds one of the smoothest silk?  Could it be the wiggly toes or the chubby cheeks?  Perhaps it is the way they look at everything with wide-eyed wonder, reminding us that there is joy to be found in the smallest of things?  Or maybe it is their sweet, vulnerable innocence, that brings out the very best in us, to be their steadfast protectors and defenders, providers and nurturers, supporters and encouragers.

Anna is 11 months old.  Oh, this time last year, I was ready and waiting!  I was enjoying the last few weeks of taking care of my boys alone and grabbing noontime naps on the couch while I still had the chance!

My days are a lot harder now.  I have hardly a moment to myself these days, but I wouldn't trade my girl for the world!

Anna is finally a full-blown crawler!  She was getting around with a drag kind of crawl, but she finally got her knees beneath her, and she's going places!  She is discovering all of the wonders of exploration:  learning that magnets stick to the fridge, the sliding glass door is cold, and Caleb keeps little animals where the DVDs are stored.  

Our girl also loves our cat.  Now, I'm not a cat person (nor any animal), and never will be.  But Anna is clearly loving Pocono.  It is funny, because Caleb loves Pocono, having basically grown alongside him.  They are a month apart in age, and we got Pocono when Caleb was two months old.  Caleb always liked Pocono when he was a baby.  But, it appears Anna's delight is even greater.  She squeals and giggles when he comes by, and she seems to be recognizing the word "kitty".  Her reaction to him is so funny that Daddy, Caleb, and I all stop and laugh.  

Of course, as we all say, the months have flown by!  I'd better buckle my seatbelt!  These next few months are sure to bring a ton of changes!  

I've learned that being a mother requires a lot of letting go.  We are always letting our children go, aren't we?  It is a gradual process.  Even when we give birth, we are letting them go.  We push them out of our very person so they can breathe air and live life.  We encourage them to crawl, and we hold their hand when they take their first step, but we let go when they are ready to run.  We show them how to gain independence, a little here, and a little there.  We teach them how to read, write, live, and dream.  Prayerfully, we lead them to Christ and teach them to follow Him.  Everything we do is in preparation for that day when they do finally leave.  

But with all that letting go, we also get to hold on tight!  We hug and kiss good night!  We hold hands while they walk on unsteady legs.  We push them on the swings, and we wipe away their tears.  I'm glad that I have a few years yet, even with my oldest.  I'm not ready to let anyone go for a while.  They still have a lot to learn and much growing still to do.  We still have many Christmases, summers, and excursions waiting to share together and countless memories to make!  My job is not to take any of it for granted!  I will enjoy this baby soft skin for as long as I can!

Little Girl is too busy for any kind of posing!  I got a few cute pictures, though!

Baby's First Christmas

Dearest Anna,

We had such a gray, gloomy fall.  So when the sun finally sent streams of light into our living room the past couple of days, you noticed.  You can't crawl yet, but you can pull yourself around, and you went after those rays of sunshine streaming on the floor.  You tried to touch them, pat them, and capture them, only to find that you could not latch on.

Life can be like that.  Oh, life can throw us some hard times.  You will one day leave the magic of childhood and discover that life isn't so easy.  It sends us more dreary weather days than cheery ones.  But, it does give us rays of sunshine.  I want you, dear girl, to always do what you tried to do today.  Reach out and grab hold of those rays.  Never stop looking for them. Sometimes, they like to hide.  And though you can't physically touch them, you can let them warm your soul.

As I wait for Christmas in two days, I marvel at the gift of YOU.  Daddy and I like to joke that you were our Valentine's gift to each other, being born just one day before.  Last year at Christmas, I dreamed of you, even getting your stocking and hanging it up.  My own dear mama bought you two ornaments with your name on them, that we put on the tree as we waited for you.

Now you are here!  The girl we dreamed of for years is here to celebrate the wonderful holiday with us!  I dreamed of you for almost my whole life!  When I was a little girl, I wanted a little sister so badly.  I had a big sister, but I had the desire to nurture and be a mini mommy even back then.  When I realized I was to remain the youngest, my thoughts turned toward a daughter as the years went by.  The idea to name you Anna came to me when I was fairly young.  I'm not even sure of the age.  With my middle name being Ann and my last name containing "anna", well, it felt right.  At my baby shower last year, I remember telling my aunts "It's always been with me."  Not just the name, but the dream of YOU.

The Anna in the Bible, in Luke 2, is a special lady, a prophetess who waited for the coming of Christ for years.  I remember standing in the bookstore with your daddy when we were dating, and I looked up and saw "Anna" on those Scripture name cards that used to be so popular.  I wasn't looking through them at all; something else had my attention at the moment.  But I looked up and saw "Anna".  The God of the Universe stopped me in my tracks, and He whispered to me that I would have a daughter with that name.  

It sounds weird to say such a thing.  But I know He spoke to me.  I can't even say He has ever spoken to me like that again, in that same way.  Over the years, when our dream of you seemed to be getting snuffed out and all but buried, the memory of that day still lingered with me.  

This year, we rejoice that you are with us!  Oh, it is clear you are, in fact, no angel sent down in the form of a baby.  Your personality is starting to form, and you have already proven yourself to be a sinner, just like the rest of us.  (Putting you on the changing table these days is evidence of that!)  But you are ours!  You are the girl we waited for.  You are the girl we wanted for so, so long.  

Dearest girl, I am so happy to be your mama!  I am not perfect or even close.  I can give you a dreadfully long list of my flaws any day of the week.  But, I will tell you when I am wrong.  I will tell you I am sorry.  I will ask for your forgiveness.  That is what love does.  And I pray we will form a strong bond as we both follow after God.

I will not dictate your life or tell you what to dream.  But, I will encourage you to go after the dreams God gives you.  I will tell you to chase after the sunshine like you did today.  Don't let the seeming impossibilities stop you.  If God has put something on your heart to do, then do it.  Follow Him all your days.  Whatever you do, don't stop dreaming your God-given dreams.

You are here because we couldn't let go of the dream that God gave us.

I love you forever and always.

Merry Christmas, my daughter.

Love,

Mama

Story behind this little Skye, the pink Paw Patrol puppy:

My mom had bought Caleb the Marshall Paw Patrol puppy years ago.  He liked firemen, so it was perfect.  We bought all of the figurines and trucks, minus the girl ones.  Still, he loved his little stuffed animal best.  We happened to be at a mall a couple of years ago, in a bookstore that sold quite a number of toys.  Caleb noticed this little Skye, just like his Marshall, and picked her up. It seemed like he wanted me to get her, but I remember telling him we had no girls at home, and it looked like she'd belong best to a little girl.

As we left the store, I couldn't help but feel like she was supposed to come with us.  At the time, there didn't seem to be a reason...

This Christmas, she was one of the first presents I purchased.

Enough said!

All Caleb Wants For Christmas...

 

is his two front teeth, of course!

Caleb lost one of his two front teeth four days ago, and I thought to myself, if that other one comes out, he's going to have to sing that old song!  Then, two days ago, he told me his other front tooth was loose!  I said to myself, "I knew it!", and so took to YouTube to find some kids singing that song for Christmas to show Caleb.

So, we're gonna make him sing the chorus, and of course, we're going to capture it all on video.  The timing is PERFECT.  

In the background here, that small photo is Caleb at 6 months old!  (And please don't blame me if the ornaments are all haphazard.  I am the mother of two little boys.)

In life, you've got to get excited about the little things, or else, why bother?  And my son losing his two front teeth at Christmas is a wonderfully fun thing to celebrate!

Anna: 10 Months

Our Anna Lynn is cruising right along, and here we are at 10 months.  I had a little chat with her today, and told her in no uncertain terms that she is growing entirely too fast, and simply must slow down!  

She's getting close to being on-the-move!  She's not crawling yet, but she is increasingly getting on her belly more and more, and she is maneuvering around on her arms.  Her knees need to catch up with her arms, but it is clear we need to make sure we are keeping a good eye on her.  She is having much fun taking things off the coffee table, much to big brother Caleb's horror.  You see, Caleb has things just so on the coffee table, spread out as he likes and how his mind understands, and little sister is messing everything up.

I have warned him that this day would come.  Anna is a baby headed for toddlerhood, and we all know how toddlers turn the earth upside down.  He can't stand anyone messing with his stuff.  I can't even have my living room the way I want it!  As much as he loves his little sister, even her cuteness can't take away his upset.

Oh, dear!  I'm not sure how we'll get through the days ahead.

Anna is excitedly studying everything around her and always looking for something to get her hands on.  But, she's still a mama's girl.  Sometimes I just have to walk by, and she starts to cry, realizing suddenly that I'm not holding her at the moment.  Never mind the fact that we are hardly separated at all, save for a quick trip I make to the grocery store on the weekend.  

She's turning pages in books we read, which is very exciting!  She might not always be consistent, or she might be ahead of my voice, but no matter.  She understands what to do, at least!  

Anna's naps have suddenly taken a turn for the worst, and I'm not sure how to fix it.  She has been having terribly short naps the past few days, and short naps make for one fussy baby.  Her overnight sleep is good, and success there is due to the fact that we moved out of our room to sleep on an air mattress in the living room.  She just couldn't sleep through the night as long as I was right there next to her, so we had to take some drastic measures.  I miss my bed already.  I might try to go back at some point, but for right now, we both need a bit of separation.  (Just a little!)  

She loves it when I sing to her, and it is fun to see her get all excited when I start.  She might be sitting on the floor, and I approach her slowly, singing a line at a time, and her arms and legs start going!  One of my favorites is "Sugar, oh, honey honey.  She is my candy girl, and she's got me wanting her."  She absolutely loves it, but Caleb gets mad at me, because we don't eat candy (unhealthy) and he complains that I am calling her candy, which is gross.  I laughed out loud the first time he said that!  I have taught him well, then.  

I have had so much fun shopping for Anna for Christmas!  After shopping for two boys, buying things for my girl has been a real treat!  Brian and I are so excited for her first Christmas!  Oh, we know she very likely won't care a fig for her gifts, and she'll enjoy the wrapping paper and bows so much more!  We will enjoy watching her!

Anna has five teeth now, and she's already wearing a lot of 18-month clothes.  We have a few things we are finishing up in 12 months, but we are thankful for Brian's coworker who passed on some 18 month hand-me-downs to us!

Oh, how we love her!  It is such a joy to have a baby in the house again!  (I didn't say it was easy!)  Sometimes, it is so wonderful to look at the world through a baby's eyes!  And hers are the prettiest shade of blue and a wonder to behold!

Dear Anna-Girl, we are so happy to see your stocking hanging up and ornaments with your name on the tree.  YOU are the best gift of 2020, and one of the three best gifts of our lives!  We love you immensely!

Anna: 9 Months

Anna's nine-month doctor appointment was today, and boy did she have some fits!  In the first place, the waiting time was unusually long, and then, being stripped of one's garments only to lay down on a paper "blanket" while being poked and prodded doesn't bring out the best in anyone.  Then the doctor picked her up, and boy, stranger anxiety has kicked in full gear, and she was not having any of it!

That's my girl!

Our Anna Lynn is still our chubby cherub!  Her weight is no concern at all, since she is thriving in that regard.  And she still eats very little solids.  I had a great chat with the nurse about solid foods.  I actually had prayed about it before I went.  Anna simply hasn't been eating much solids; she just hasn't had much of an interest.  She still has a pretty good gag reflex and gags on the slightest bump in pureed carrots, for example.  It has been a major concern for me; this is my third child, and I feel like a new parent!  I prayed that I would get some kind of positive encouragement about Anna's feeding, or lack thereof.  Turns out it was the nurse who offered what I needed!  She has a thirteen-month old who didn't want food either, and also gagged to the point of throwing up.  When he turned a year, all the sudden his interest kicked in, and he started eating regularly, kind of bypassing the pureed foods in favor of the real deal.

So, it was just a moment of taking a deep breath for me.  A reminder that it really is okay.  She is growing and thriving, and it isn't a race to the finish line.  She'll get there her own way, when she wants to.  I am so glad God answered my prayer and gave me encouragement today instead of something negative.

As for me, I recently found myself dehydrated with awful dizzy spells.  I realized I was neglecting my water intake, and Anna is still nursing strong (obviously, since she is bypassing solids).  This was a definite reminder to keep taking care of myself, too.  How easy it is as a mama to forget yourself while caring for your young ones (and your husband, too!)  Stopping right now to take some sips...

Anna is learning some fun games like "Peek-A-Boo", and she reaches her arms to be picked up.  She definitely knows routines, and we play a little game, whenever I take her into my room for nap or bedtime, I tiptoe toward the mirror and all of the sudden bring us both in front.  She loves it and waits for it.  

She's got four teeth!  She is sipping from her new water cup.  I need to hold it for her at this point since it is still new for her.  Silas never understood the concept of a sippy cup or straw or anything like it, and finally we had to give him a coffee cup type of thing with a hole.  If we go out with him, we bring a water cup with a lid and take off the lid for him to drink it.  Anna understood how to sip right away, so that was a good bit of relief.  She loves drinking water, and she seems to like that better than eating!

Anna is clapping and waving and banging toys all over the place.  She only just started babbling, so we'll see how that progresses at this point.  She is a busy girl, studying everything around her, especially her brothers.  She can't quite figure Silas out.  He keeps his distance more than Caleb, and she tries to touch him whenever he is near.  He doesn't like that so much.  Sometimes he gets her eye and she gets his eye and they laugh together.  Caleb dotes on her, as always.

If my house has shredded papers and napkins all over the place, you know who to blame.  I feel like I am forever picking up ripped pieces.  Oh, well, she's cute, so who's gonna stop her?

I am so looking forward to the holidays this year as a family of five.  We are so blessed to have our girl with us this year!  Truly, she has been in our hearts for years, so it's about time!

Coincidentally, you can't see it in these pics, but it shows up in some of the outtakes, Anna is holding one of Caleb's number blocks and the number she is holding is nine!  Yay for nine months!

Baby Shower Reflection & My Old Baby Shoes

One year ago today, my sister and mother threw me a lovely baby "sprinkle".

I told my sister not to make too much fuss.  I am a simple person, and Dollar Tree décor is just fine by me (and my budget).  But my sister has slightly more sophisticated taste, and she went above and beyond to make it a special day.  I still have the things she made and/or purchased for the day, and I was so blessed by all the work she went through for my sake, or rather, for the sake of Anna :)

My aunts were there, as well as my cousins, and some dear friends and former coworkers, and everyone knocked my socks off with their generosity.  It was so fun to celebrate another baby, and this time, a baby girl!  I didn't then, and still don't, take any of it for granted.  On the contrary, I was humbled by the love and care of my dear friends.  

I thought about it today, marveling once again about the passing of time.  I texted my sister and told her I didn't know whether to be happy or sad that the shower was one year ago today.  Of course, I am glad, but there is a little bit of nostalgia, too.  My baby girl is growing like a weed, and I want so much to hold on to every stage before a new one begins.  I want to remember her every facial expression, habit, and attempt at trying something new.

Changing topics...

I still have my first pair of baby shoes.  These shoes are rather special, because I wore a bar on my feet that attached to the shoes.  My feet pointed inward, and the bar was used to straighten my feet.  I had to wear the bar 23 hours a day.  My parents distinctly remember the banging sound as I tried to kick my feet against the table.  The shoes were open-toed, to allow for my feet to grow.

I'm so glad my mom kept the shoes, as it is a special memento of my former "handicap" if you could call it that :)  I wanted to try them on Anna, just for a quick photo.  Of course, I would never make her wear these outdated things!  It was just fun for a pic.  And as a side note, they were rather annoying to get on!  This is one thing we parents have easier today!  They make shoes with velcros and zippers and whatnot, and these laces on the boot up the ankle made it extremely tricky!  Kuddos to my parents for having to deal with this every single day, more than once a day for baths and changes.