Has it already been one month since I first held you in my arms? It hardly seems like any time has passed at all, but at the same time, I feel like I can hardly remember what life was like without you.
I have become a mother through and through. At night I listen to your steady breathing and am comforted to hear it. When it gets too quiet, I admit I get a little nervous, and I check to make sure you are okay. If your bassinet were any closer to my bed, it would be on top of it. In fact, I dread the day when we will move you to your crib, because I love keeping a close eye on you.
I never would have guessed it, but being your mommy has taught me many spiritual lessons. When you are hungry and I am getting ready to feed you, I see you work yourself up into a frenzy, and all the while I am right there, telling you, "It's okay, my love. I'm here." You are too little to understand me. I can't help but think we are often like that with our Heavenly Father, at the last minute working ourselves up into a state of anxiety, when He is right there all along. If only we could pause to see His tender loving care.
You have given my life a greater purpose. Yes, it had a purpose before, but being your mother brings it to a new level. Nothing in my life that I have done before equals this. I can't help but gaze at your face and wonder what kind of man you will become. I know your father and I will have much to do with that, and while that is a wonderful honor, it is also the most daunting task we have ever faced. We pray that God will guide us as we raise you so that you will become the man that He wants you to be. May we not get in His way!
I hope I never forget that magical moment when I first saw your face as the nurses handed you to me. All the pain of labor was worth it because you were the prize I received at the end. I'm so glad I have eighteen years to enjoy living with you. So much to look forward to, my little boy!
I love you, Caleb. You have made my life so much richer!
Love,
Your Mama
