The Best Husband, The Best Father

Sometimes I like to think back on my courtship with Brian.  Living two-and-a-half hours apart, we only could see each other once a month during the school year.  It wasn't easy.  I remember one particularly sad parting.  We both had President's Day off, but Brian also had the day after off, so he decided to stay one extra night so we could see each other as long as possible.  I remember getting ready for work as usual, the only difference being that Brian was right there.  (Don't forget:  I lived with my mom.  No hanky-panky was going on here, thank you).  I drove him down to the parking lot in the community where I lived- where he had to park overnight.  I cried as we parted... just one of the many endless partings we had to go through, and I continued to stifle the tears as I drove my way to work, while Brian drove in the opposite direction- away from me.

I look back on it, because it boggles my mind that it was once "normal" to be far apart.  At that time, it was all we knew.  Now, I can't imagine it.  Even though I missed him very much, and my heart ached in the times apart, our lives were not yet intertwined.  It would be far worse to be apart now that we are married.  When I was nearing the end of my pregnancy with Caleb, Brian had a music judging event which was too far to drive back and forth to, so he stayed the night in a hotel.  I felt like I was missing my arm or another part of myself to have one night away from each other.

A mere two months after we were married, I found myself back home again for a week, staying in my old bedroom- without Brian- as I wanted to be with my family when my dad was getting a triple bypass. It felt like a dream that we had even gotten married... but I missed him terribly, much more than I did when we were just dating.  Brian was back on his own in the apartment, fending for himself for meals, and I was back with my family, sleeping in my old bed.  When he came for me that Friday night, it felt almost exactly the same as it did when we were dating... it had been such a short time before that.

Now that we are parents together, my love for him has only grown.  Sure, marriage is harder now. Time is much more limited and we are a lot more tired due to caring for a small child.  (I was thinking recently that I miss holding Brian's hand.  Whenever we were out before Caleb came along, we always held hands.  Now our hands are full!)

My respect for Brian has grown, too.  I love watching him be a dad.  He's the best dad I know. When you are courting, you can speculate how your significant other will be as parent, but that is all it is: speculation.  You cannot know for SURE, because that person has simply not been in that role yet.  I saw Brian with my nieces, and he charmed them very quickly, and they still talk about how he would try to grab their "toesies".  But it is not the same as your own children.

The truth is- he's an even better dad than anything I pictured.  He has a wonderful balance of being a proper leader in our household, for example, in dealing with the issues of teaching and training Caleb how to behave, but he's also a fun and goofy playmate who brings such laughter to Caleb at the end of the day.  He is definitely the FUN parent, while I'm the more serious one, and he brings a joy to the household that wouldn't be here if he wasn't.

He's a wonderful husband, too.  I greatly dislike the "extra" things that keep him from home:  the second job, concerts, judgings, festivals, etc., etc.  When he's not here, I also feel like a piece of myself is missing.  I am most content when he is home, and we are all together as a family.

So, honey, this post is for you.  I love you and appreciate you more than you know!