For the first time in my life, I was carried away in an ambulance, and for the first time in my life, other than giving birth to my children, I was admitted to the hospital.
I am still trying to process the events, and of course, we are still trying to determine the cause of the seizure. We MIGHT know, but we also might never know for sure. We also have an appointment next week with a neurologist, so hopefully he can help shed some light on things.
The last thing I remember was feeding Silas at about 12:30, going to the bathroom, and checking on Caleb. I went back to bed. Brian woke up at about 1:30 to the sound of me falling out of the bed. Now, if you know Brian, it is somewhat of a miracle that he woke up. I always joke that he could sleep through the second coming. He's a heavy sleeper, and in the past, if Caleb cried in the middle of the night, it was always me that heard him, and not Brian.
He ran over to me, and he found my head stuck between the night table and the bed. I am sure I can't tell this part of the story as he could since I was completely out of it, but he did get me out of there. I have no recollection of any of this, but apparently I tried climbing back into bed again. I was also clawing at him at one point, too.
Brian ran for the phone and called 911. They told him to keep me still, but I guess I wasn't having it, and I was determined to get into bed and get the covers on myself. Meanwhile, Brian was trying to keep me away from Silas. Sometimes Silas will cry or fuss when I try returning him to his bassinet after a feeding, so I might bring him into bed with me. He sleeps like a dream next to me, but in this instance, in my foggy state, I had no idea what I was doing. Thank goodness he was okay!
I was completely incoherent. I remember "waking up" to find Brian and one of the paramedic ladies hovered over me, shouting at me and trying to wake me up. I was totally startled, and not to mention scared, to be woken up in such a way. I was totally and completely confused. They began to tell me what happened, and I saw Silas right next to me on the bed, but I couldn't even remember Caleb. I guess the paramedic asked me if Silas was my firstborn and I said, "Yes." It took a few minutes for the fog to lift, and then I could indeed, remember Caleb, too.
I got pretty banged up during my fall out of bed. My lip was bleeding, my chin scraped, and my arm started to bruise. However, I was doing okay. We talked about heading to the hospital. They asked Brian which one they wanted to bring me to, and since we've only had experience at one, where I delivered both our boys, he chose that one. Even in my haze, I managed to find my engagement ring, which I always take off at bed time because I don't like to sleep with it, and a sweatshirt. I dreaded leaving the house in my pajamas, but I really didn't have a choice. I remember feeling torn because it was the first time I would be separated from Silas, and it made me nervous in case he got hungry. Since there was nothing to be done about it, I tried not to worry. I walked out to the ambulance, while Brian proceeded to get the boys ready for the trek to the hospital on his own.
My ride to the hospital was calm. The paramedics team chatted casually with each other and sometimes with me. The ambulance lights were blaring, but no sirens were necessary. I was delivered to the hospital, given a room in the ER, and they got to work trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I was anxious for Brian's arrival with the boys.
After a time, he showed up, and I was relieved. I was happy to be reunited with Silas, because I didn't want him to go hungry. The long car ride continued to have its effect on him, and he stayed asleep for a while in his car seat.
My urine had been collected and my blood drawn, and they determined that I had a urinary tract infection, which is something I already knew. I had been trying to treat it at home by myself with a supplement that is pretty well-known as a uti treatment (just google d-mannose and you'll see what I mean). The levels of phosphorous in my blood were also found to be low. A doctor came to see me, saying that I would have to be transferred to another hospital because this one didn't have a neurologist. He also informed me that he had researched the d-mannose, and he found that it can lower phosphorous levels, and low phosphorous can lead to seizures. Was this the answer, or something else?
I was put into an ambulance for the second time, and separated from Brian and the boys once again. (I made sure to feed Silas before we parted ways!) Brian once again got the boys loaded up for their second trip. I was brought to the second hospital and sent to a room, and again I awaited the arrival of my men.
Meanwhile, Brian had called his mom to come down and help, so she headed to the first hospital. Brian had left instructions for her to head to the second hospital, and she was informed when she arrived that we had already left. Thank goodness she has GPS!
Brian's mom arrived and it was good to have some help with the boys, but we decided to see how the day would before we let the boys go. After all, I really didn't want to stay overnight. I am nursing Silas, and they informed me that he wouldn't be allowed to stay with me if I was admitted overnight. That just wouldn't do. It is one thing if it is an emergency, but I was feeling fine, and I wanted to be with my son. Just in case, they brought a lactation consultant to meet with me to show me how to pump my milk in case I had to send the milk home with Silas, but fortunately, the hospital was good enough to let me go home. They ordered me an MRI and an EEG, and they got an antibiotic for my uti. I developed a splitting headache after the MRI, and had to beg for some painkillers. (Why does it take them so long to get it?) Since no one was sure if the d-mannose had anything to do with my seizure, they told me to stop taking it. I was told I could not drive for six months, and I had to schedule an appointment with a neurologist within a week.
I was finally able to leave the hospital at about 6 or 6:30. Caleb, Silas, and I were all still in our pajamas. (No big deal for Silas, though!) I looked like a fright, because the EEG required all sorts of things to be stuck to my hair, and I pretty much could have been the bride of Frankenstein.
I was so relieved to be able to go home, and that I didn't need to be away from Silas. On Thursday, Brian went back to work for half the day, and I had Brian's mom with me to help out. She stayed through Friday morning, and I remember that the minute she left, I felt all sorts of fear. It was the first time I was alone since my seizure. What if I had another? What if I had a seizure and hurt my boys? I had done some research and found out that postpartum seizures were not uncommon. Being sleep-deprived is another cause of seizures, and I am indeed that with a month old baby to nurse at night!
I was happy to have Brian home for the weekend, and so happy to not be alone again, but it was hard to let him go this morning! It's like all the sudden I don't trust myself to care for my own boys.
I'm trying to cling to the Lord during this time as we await our appointment with the neurologist, where we will hopefully get some answers. (Though, not necessarily. My sister had a seizure when she was 13, and they never found the cause.)
For now, I am trying to cling to the Lord in spite of my fears. This is a hard time, for sure. I feel lonelier than ever, stuck in the house, trapped, and overall just scared.
This is my arm 4 days after the fall.
