Dear Silas,
As you are cruising your way along (literally) to one year, Daddy and I are watching in awe as you blossom and grow.
You are standing all the time now, and you can take a step or two while holding on to furniture. When I come get you after a nap, you might be standing up, waiting in desperation for me to come rescue you.
You have mastered crawling. Mommy and Daddy find it a bit easier to block you in the living room, instead of running around the kitchen and dining area chasing you.
I've said it before and it bears repeating: You are a mama's boy. Plain and simple. When we traveled this past week, it was quite difficult for me at times, because all you wanted was me while in a strange place. I could barely go get myself a drink, so short was the leash you had on me.
You look like me. Or at least, the baby version of me. Never did I look at Caleb's face and for one minute think he looked like me, because he doesn't. But you? It is different. Many times I've stared at you and thought you resembled my baby pictures. Your daddy thinks so, too.
We've been shut up all year while I have been on my driving ban. As we have started getting out more with Daddy home, I am almost surprised by the reactions you receive from people. Who doesn't love a baby? And who doesn't love one as handsome as you? You receive so many comments and smiles!
You can clearly say "ma ma" and at times you call for me when going down or getting up. You still won't self-feed, nor will you let me give you water from a bottle. If I want to give you water, I have to spoon-feed it. You just don't like things in your mouth, period. You never chew on toys or put anything in your mouth. A blessing, yes, but I am concerned about these delays. We will have to wait and see how things turn out.
You and Caleb are clearly becoming friends. Yes, Caleb is rough with you, but we hope to change that in the future. The smiles you give one another are beautiful. We pray and hope that you will be so much more than brothers. We want you to be best friends. A sibling is a gift, and I hope you both come to feel that way, too.
Your sleep still leaves much to be desired, but I have to remind myself there are worse things in life. We will get through this, even though it is hard. One day, we will all sleep through the night again! Either that, or Jesus will come back before that happens!
Silas, you are a little light in my life. I love you tremendously. Watching you grow is a wonderful thing to behold. Your smiles and giggles are precious. Snuggling you and holding you cheek to cheek is still one of my favorite things in this world.
One day, you'll be watching your bride walk down the aisle of a church. I, my love, will be watching you. I will be remembering the little boy who doesn't like me out of his sight. My heartstrings will pull and tug and ache in all the right places. And when we dance at your wedding, I'll be remembering how I carried you and danced with you in our little living room. When I hold you and spin you around while singing, "Could I have this dance, for the rest of my life? Would you, Silas, be Mommy's partner, every night?" I sometimes think about that future dance we will have together. And I want to echo Laura Ingalls Wilder, who said in her books, "Now is now, and it can never be a long time ago."
I love you.
Love,
Your mama
