Well, yes, I'm writing about Mother's Day while it is only February.
I'm due on Monday, May 6. Mother's Day is Sunday, May 12. So I will either be a mother on Mother's Day or I will have just missed it. In which case I will be very disappointed. (Sentence fragment used on purpose.) I have already instructed Brian that I expect a Mother's Day card whether I have delivered or not.
Thinking about the above, for me at least, begs the question, when does a mother become a mother? (The same works for father as well.) Is it at the moment of conception, or does it occur when the baby is actually born? Or is it somewhere along the way?
The phrases that go along with pregnancy seem to answer the question. "Expecting parents", "parents-to-be", etc., implying that "No, you're not a parent yet, but soon." While I would agree with that, there is a part of me that already feels very much like a mother, because while my child is in my womb, there are decisions that I make daily in regards to his/her well-being.
I think of a moment back in December, right before Christmas, when I fell down the stairs. Of course, this being my first pregnancy, I tend to worry about everything. The idea that falling when pregnant immediately results in calamity is mostly myth, but it is a very powerful myth regardless. I don't think I'll ever forget how I felt in those few seconds of time. First of all, I hadn't fallen down the stairs since I was a child. How it happened, I'm not sure, but I found myself slipping, both feet in the air, wondering how in the world I would land. I remember purposely thrusting my knees forward, trying desperately to avoid my abdomen. Brian was at the bottom of the stairs and caught my upper body in his arms as my knees crashed to the floor, my legs tucked awkwardly in back of me. I burst into tears and cried out, "The baby!" He held me as I sobbed, wondering, too, if all would be well with our precious babe.
I can say that at that moment, we felt every bit the full-fledged parents. As it turned out, perhaps we needn't have worried quite so much, as falling is rather common during pregnancy, but we didn't know. All we knew then was we loved this child already, and we didn't want any harm to come to our little one.
So yes, I agree that I am a "mom-to-be", but I would have to add that I am also a mom. Perhaps I'm not a full-fledged one yet, but I think that loving this baby makes me a mother. When Brian puts his head near my stomach and says, "Hi Baby, it's Daddy!", he is a father, too. While we have a lot to learn, I'd like to think we are in the beginning stages of our journey already as parents.
And for the record, I really hope I am a mother, officially, by Mother's Day.
