(Yup, that's 3D!)
We'd like you to meet the newest member of our family!
Brian and I are so happy to announce that I am once again with child! Truly, our joy is overflowing!
I'm not sure where to begin, because my heart is bursting with this piece of news. We struggled to conceive this time around due to the fact that I am still nursing Caleb. Most women are usually able to conceive twelve months postpartum, whether or not they are still nursing, but others are not, which to be honest, is not commonly known. We were trying for several months, and I was charting each cycle, but we were not having success. I had to do a little research of my own to figure out why and to find a solution, and I did! I will write a separate post on this matter at another time. It was an easy fix once I figured out what was going on, even though we lost several months in the process. But God is good, and His timing is always best.
Why was I so anxious to get the ball rolling? I'm no spring chicken any more, folks. I will go ahead and admit my age here... a whopping 35. I am considered "high-risk" for that reason alone... once a woman is 35 and pregnant, forget it, the doctors forewarn of gloom and doom. (Not my midwife, by the way, just the doctors.) The first doctor I saw for this pregnancy (only because my midwife was booked) recommended me to a high-risk doctor, which I declined. I'm pretty sure the female body knows what to do, whether or not a woman is 20 or 35, and goodness, I'm not the only woman to have a child at this age. My sister did it with twins, and she did have to see high-risk doctors, which she said didn't really do anything different anyway. I will stick with my midwife, who is so happy for me, and has never said a single word to me about my age.
The months of trying to conceive and lacking success were difficult ones, because I was doubting whether or not God wanted us to have another child. I had felt SO STRONGLY that He did. I couldn't escape the thought. Yes, I could have been, would have been, content with just our Caleb, but there was a haunting feeling that would not let me go: Someone else is supposed to be here. I couldn't deny it. I KNEW we weren't done. I KNEW our family was not yet complete. Brian felt the same way, perhaps not in the same way that I did, but he very much wanted another child.
Our hearts were overflowing this past Thanksgiving morning when I took my at-home pregnancy test. I pretty much knew I was pregnant by that time, thanks to charting, but I took the test to confirm it. What a thankful Thanksgiving that was!
My due date is August 2nd, but as we all know, those dates pretty much mean nothing. The baby could be late, just as Caleb was, or could sneak in early in July.
I am dreading the long car ride to the hospital while in labor... I managed to escape the dreaded affair with Caleb's birth because my amniotic fluid was getting low, and I went to the hospital to be induced (without Pitocin, thank you!) I DREAD, DREAD, DREAD that car ride, now that I know what labor is like, much more so than before having not known a thing about it. As soon as I feel labor pains at all, I think we are bolting for the hospital, because NO WAY do I want to sit in a car that long when the labor pains are so intense.
But, that's more talk for another day. Here's what's been going on with my pregnancy so far:
1) It's been very similar to my pregnancy with Caleb, in that I had a lot of morning sickness the first trimester, especially throughout the month of December. Yuck. Some mornings I just felt so icky I couldn't look at food, except for maybe a can of ginger ale and some saltine crackers.
2) I have been EXHAUSTED. Really, I didn't know the meaning of the word until recently. I was tired the first pregnancy, but now that I have a toddler, who is ALWAYS up early, some days up before 5, and rarely ever past 5:30... let's just say I feel like I have been living life half-asleep since getting pregnant. I will be entering my second trimester tomorrow, and supposedly the exhaustion fades by now, but so far for me it has not. I never can get the rest my body truly needs... I have no idea what it is like to sleep until my body wants to wake up. Plus, I am still nursing Caleb, so I have a baby taking my nutrients in my womb, and then Caleb taking what's left over. (This boy is impossible to wean, so please don't even suggest something so obvious. I am praying about this matter, over and over again, that he will lose interest on his own. And soon.)
3) I am starting to show, but truthfully, right now it doesn't look so much like pregnancy, but perhaps like I've been eating too much, if you were unaware of the truth. I did start showing earlier this time around, which I guess is normal for second pregnancies, though, to be honest, it makes one feel "fat", even though you know there is a perfectly good reason for it. My sister has reassured me of this time and again. Her maternity clothes are now holding up for a fifth pregnancy...three for her and two for me. I will have to actually buy some maternity clothes this time around... last time I bought nothing but one simple skirt, but my sister was never pregnant in the summer, as I will be. Some flowing skirts, capris, and cool t-shirts will be on the list, and though I hate spending money on clothes that will probably never be worn again, we'll have to plan for that in our budget.
(Please excuse my finger. I am covering up our last name. We don't ever put our last name on the blog.)
4) The lightheadedness has already begun. I had it with Caleb, and two times while pregnant with him I was out shopping and had to sit down while clerks brought me water. My body does not handle pregnancy well. My blood sugar gets very low, and when that happens, the blood starts rushing from my head, and if I don't sit down, I will fall down. This morning, I had to stop breakfast preparations for the three of us because I had this feeling. It is definitely not the most delightful part of pregnancy for me, especially since it is so random. My mom and sister never went through this, so I'm not sure where I get it from.
5) I've already had my first fall, so hopefully that's it. With Caleb, I fell once down the stairs, and just a couple of weeks ago, I fell in our icy driveway... thank the Lord I was not carrying Caleb, but ouch, it hurt! I am hoping my quota is only one fall per pregnancy, so perhaps I am done?
6) Cravings? With both pregnancies I craved bagels and cream cheese very early on, and it ended quickly. Now I don't really have any unusual cravings at all. I do eat more healthfully this time around, more organic things and fruits and vegetables, so hopefully I am getting enough nutrients. I hope!
7) Things I miss? Oh, boy, do I miss coffee! I do still drink it, in small amounts, for example, putting barely half a teaspoon of my instant coffee granules in a cup instead of a whole heaping teaspoon. I miss licking cake batter out of a bowl (Brian was stuck with the job last night, poor guy!), deli meats, and mayonnaise.
In all seriousness, pregnancy is both a glorious time, and a difficult time. It is so hard dealing with your own body as it gets big and awkward. I am already getting round ligament pain in my abdomen. I suffer from intense restless legs at night (a pregnancy side effect). But, all the discomforts and inconveniences are so worth it. To know that little one is inside of me, having life while depending on my very breath, is mind-boggling. I love him or her already. And so does Daddy.
Our hearts our full. This is more than likely the last child for us, given my age. If I were younger, I would have wanted three. We are content with two, and I want to savor this pregnancy and the miracle that it is. We only get nine months with this little one inside of us... and we'll never get this time back again. What a beautiful thing it is!
(This photo is not blurry. It is how the ultrasound looks.)
If you read all of this, I truly thank you. I have been quiet on this blog for so long, never breathing a word about the pregnancy, except for saying I've been tired, and since I am beginning my second trimester tomorrow, we are ready to announce it to the world. Thanks so much for reading!
