Hmmm. Forgive me, please. I am but an emotional pregnant lady, and today is my due date.
I have known all along that this date was a mere suggestion as to when my baby would decide it was time to leave my womb, yet I was unprepared for the disappointment I managed to feel today. I guess the date was embedded in my mind for so long, and today finally came, and... nothing. Absolutely nothing is going on here.
Well, that's not quite true. I went to the grocery store, as per usual. The store was busier than normal, and I had gotten on one checkout line, and realized I hadn't looked at the expiration date of the block of mozzarella cheese in my cart. I looked, and realized it was a bit too close for my liking, especially with Baby coming, and not knowing if I would get around to using it in time. Begrudgingly, I got out of line and went to get some shredded mozzarella, which had an expiration date in September instead. Except when I returned to the checkout lines, they became a massive mess, and I would have had to wait. I mean, really wait. I just wasn't feeling up to it, so I crept to the scary self-checkout, which I usually avoid at all costs.
It was a mistake. I felt like stopping and crying right in the middle of checking myself out. It was too stressful. First, I couldn't find the green onion icon listed with the rest of the produce, and had to call someone over. Then, my groceries repeatedly kept piling up on the belt, and I had to constantly readjust them. People kept coming on line behind me, and I felt the pressure to be quick, when all I wanted to say was, "Pregnant lady here who's never done this before! Best pick another line!" One of my coupons wouldn't scan, so my checkout light began blinking, and a staff member had to come help me. Some of my items repeatedly backed up after I put them on the conveyor belt, and I had to keep looking to see what had actually scanned and what had not. Good grief.
I FINALLY finished, much to the relief of the guy behind me, who was only buying something like two things. I proceeded to my car, and there I carefully examined my receipt, as I always do. I noticed there was an error. One of the store coupons did not ring up correctly, and I am very careful and meticulous about always finding the right product that goes with the right coupon. So even though the last thing I wanted to do was go back into the store, if there is one thing I can't stand, it is being overcharged. I left my ice cream to its fate in my trunk, and went to see if I could possibly get this resolved in a timely fashion.
It wasn't looking good. The customer service staff apparently doesn't keep a sample flier at the register with the coupons, so they went on a frenzy trying to find my coupon, which was now somewhere in the self-checkout machine. I was waiting and waiting, and finally was asked when I was due. When I said, "Today, actually. But you know how these things go," customers and employees alike became terribly excited. One elderly gentleman shook my hand, kept referring to my baby as a boy, and told me his name was Al (I think he wanted me to name my son Al even though I kept trying to say I didn't know the gender yet). Another elderly lady gave me a piece of advice on how to get labor started, which I won't mention here. One of the cashiers insisted that since I had gotten my groceries and was all prepared, that I would go into labor tonight, and still another cashier insisted on giving me the cereal that was in question for free. I had never wanted it to be for free; I only wanted it at the advertised coupon price, but by this time, I was so tired and overwhelmed that I took the full refund. (Please forgive me, Lord. I really did deserve to pay a dollar.)
I escaped with many happy wishes following me out the door. It was rather nice, even though I was a bit worn out and weary.
But why do I have the feeling I'll be back there next week, just as usual? I hate to disappoint all these poor folk who were so excited for me. I think it might be a rather big anticlimax for them if I come in again, sans baby in my arms.
Oh, well. I keep reminding myself that no one is pregnant forever. Some time within the next couple of weeks, this baby HAS to come, right? The only downside is that I am beginning to have to re-clean the several areas of the house I have already cleaned in preparation for the big day. At least I'm keeping busy.
