It's gotten to the point where either Brian or I are looking down at my stomach and talking to Baby, saying something like, "Don't you want to come out now?" Yet, of course, there are more factors than just the baby being ready. My body has to be ready, too.
My spirits have been rather low, not just because I am still waiting, but because I am a little worried about the fluid level which I mentioned in my last post. I have been drinking water until I'm practically drowning in it! I guess part of what makes me nervous is that the weekend is coming, and I will have no further update on my fluid level until Monday, when I'll have another ultrasound.
I'm glad I'm not around too many people, like Brian. He tells me his coworkers keeping asking the obvious, "No baby yet?" Thank heavens I don't have to deal with those annoying questions. Forgive me, but there are many things that simply must not be said to a woman in her 40th week of pregnancy.
Perhaps I seem like an emotional basket case, but you'll have to forgive me. It's been a hard week for me in many ways, including a last minute infection that sent Brian and me running to a twenty-four hour pharmacy that was fifty minutes away the other night. I am thankful for my mom and my sister, who patiently listen to my every rant over the phone. I called my sister no less than three times yesterday with a concern, a question, or a near breakdown as I second-guessed my own decision.
My midwives basically left the decision up to me in regards to when I want to be induced. Since I didn't detect a great urgency in them that this thing must be done right away, I opted to wait it out, at least until next week. I could have been induced today, but I wanted my body to have the chance to possibly go into labor. I am praying fervently that I will go into labor this weekend. If not, I will be having another ultrasound on Monday, where they will check my fluid once again. If it is extremely low, they won't let me leave the hospital, and I'll be induced right there. (I will pack my bag ahead of time and keep it in the car, and if this happened, Brian would have to leave work and meet me at the hospital.) If my levels are tolerable, I may wait another day. My midwife said she can't see me going past next Thursday, so my guess is that I may be induced Tuesday or Wednesday.
I'm disappointed in many ways, because I really don't want to be induced. I've read up on it, and it simply is not the best thing, unless of course, it is the only way to protect the baby or baby is just getting really overdue. However, I know that with the low level of fluid, I only have so much time. Then again, my midwife said my fluid level could end up rising, but who knows?
For now, I can only pray and wait. I've quit doing most of the housework, except for laundry, cooking, and normal clean-up of the kitchen, much to my mother's joy. I am trying to put my feet up more and RELAX, something I don't usually do. It's not that I have to be on bed rest, but my midwife did say to take it easy so as to try to retain that fluid. I am regularly tuning into Baby and checking his/her movements to make sure all is quite well there.
If you are reading this, we could use your prayers, first and foremost, for Baby's health and safety, and also that I might go into labor this weekend. I am trying not to be anxious, but it is difficult, so please pray that God gives me and Brian a peace that passes all understanding. I hope that in a week's time, this will be in the past and our baby will be in our arms to cuddle and kiss to our heart's content. We'll finally be able to call this baby by a real name instead of "Baby"! (Though if you can believe it, we still haven't finalized a boy's name yet! The girl was picked long ago!) For the majority of this pregnancy, I've leaned towards the thought that we're having a girl, but in the recent weeks, that thought has become quite muddied. It's probably a good thing, though, so I don't have one idea stuck in my head only for the reality to go the other direction. Lord willing, we will know soon enough!
