Before I had a baby, I never missed church, except in the case of travel. Brian and I were faithfully attending our little church where Brian leads worship.
Then I had Caleb. Of course I didn't drag him out when he was a wee newborn, but I started bringing him with us when he was beyond those early weeks. In the beginning, I missed bits of pieces of the service depending on when he needed to eat. In those days, Caleb spent quite a while nursing. There was one service that he slept peacefully the entire time in his car seat carrier right beside me. Bliss. Though it was difficult, I could usually experience some of church, at least.
But no baby stays the same size for long. My little boy began to get bigger, and sitting and holding him on my lap just wasn't happening. He can tolerate worship for a bit, but then, he just wants to GO! I have threatened to Brian after climbing into the car, for several weeks in a row, "That's it! I'm done! No more church for me! I don't hear the sermon anyway!" The truth is, I'd leave church more exhausted from trying to entertain/hold back/keep occupied my dear little boy in one hour of church service than a day by myself at home leaves me.
So this past Sunday, Caleb began showing all the routine signs of "I'm done, mama. I've had enough" when worship wasn't even over. I grabbed my tithe, handed it to one of the collectors (Brian is up front during worship), and I took my purse and diaper bag, and out I went. I went downstairs to the all-purpose room, with no plan, really, except to get out and let these people worship in peace. When I entered the room, there were two sweet older ladies sitting there and watching the service on the television. (It isn't always on, but it was today, and I thought, "Great!") When they saw me, one of the sweet ladies commented while watching him ready to jump out of my arms, "You look so small holding him. He's all boy. He's got two arms and two legs, and he wants to use them. So put him down on a blanket and let him go." So that is what I did!
I felt encouraged with these ladies. Before we parted, they reminded me that right now, I may be missing out, but it won't last forever. Right now, this is what he needs, but one day, he'll sit quietly with a book in the pew. I wasn't so terribly exhausted when I left, and I felt better about the whole thing. I know that my run-in with those ladies was no mistake, and it was exactly what I needed.
*Note: Our church is rather small, and we don't have a nursery. There is a nursery room, but not a specific nursery time for babies. That's okay by me. Even if there were nursery workers for Caleb, I feel that he is my responsibility. That's much the same way I feel about babysitters. Where I go, Caleb goes.
