I recently wrote a post about three things Brian and I discovered we had in common when we had just met. Fairly early on in our relationship (it may have been our first phone conversation which went on for four hours), we discussed our aversion to Facebook. Brian has joked that if I was a Facebook lover, then our relationship would never have worked. I don't take offense because I know just what he means.
Over the years, people have asked me to join Facebook, and they have stopped asking me because I've always declined. My students tried to bait me in discussions during class in regards to just why I was a Facebook "refuser", but I couldn't be persuaded to abandon my lessons plans to go on such a tangent. (Nice try, though, kiddos.)
I felt like putting a list together for myself of the main reasons we don't do it. I am the main writer here, but Brian added his thoughts intermittently as well.
1. The fact that most everyone does it is enough of a reason for me not to do it. Because it is so popular, I want to stay away from it even more. Brian is also very cautious with things that are overly popular, because in his words: popularity many times is accompanied by dual spiritual and/or moral compromises.
2. I've heard it jokingly referred to as "Fakebook". It is certainly no substitute for real life, face-to-face communication, and it is a world that one can make what one wants it to be. It can be a perpetual ego 'fix'; fuel for our increasingly narcissistic society... I'm not saying this is true for everyone who uses Facebook. I know there are some very genuine people on there. But for others, it is all about how many friends one has, etc. Speaking of which, a girl who was on my floor in college once "friended" my sister on Facebook. My sister mentioned it to me, and I barely remembered the girl based on name alone (not due to her insignificance, but rather having traveled and spending a year in Europe had made my brain foggy). I was perplexed as to why she wanted to friend my sister when I was positive they had never met....??? Nothing against the girl whom, once I put the face to, I remember was very sweet, but I just don't get it. I think a lot of "friends" are like that, friends of friends, acquaintances of acquaintances, etc.
3. Many people want to find people from the past, for various reasons. I guess I'm just not like that. It's not that I don't care about people. There are many people I'd love to see and chat with over a cup of tea. But I feel that the past is the past. If we couldn't stay in touch, then our friendship probably was meant to be for just a time, and if it wasn't strong enough to stand the test of time and distance, then why revisit it? There are many people I think of fondly, but don't wish to go fishing them out on Facebook. As I think about it, I don't really have an interest in being tracked down either!
4. I've heard of at least three Christian marriages that were destroyed due to Facebook. While I won't deny that I'm sure there were other factors, I do know that these people found an old flame on Facebook, and after some back and forth exchanges, decided the grass was greener over on that already-worn pasture. Marriage is already being attacked everywhere. Why allow the world yet another foothold? Shouldn't we instead build hedges around our marriages?
5. It is an incredible time-waster! People can spend countless hours on there, either commenting on people's pages or simply reading people's pages. It takes people away from REAL LIFE. I just don't want to get caught up in that world.
6. Brian has a reason related to his occupation. As a public/state employee he chooses not to get involved in social media outlets like Facebook and Twitter, because he knows that he does not have the same First Amendment rights and privileges that his liberal colleagues freely enjoy. If he used them, he would want to be outspoken on many social issues that could get him in potential trouble with liberal employers. He also doesn't want to follow the same path as some of his colleagues by being "Facebook pals" or tweeting with his students.
I truly don't feel like I am missing anything. I don't care to keep up with the Joneses, whether it be with Facebook or the latest gadgets or the best in technology. God asks me to take care of what I've got right here, and what's right here is my husband and a little boy named Caleb.
