Too Cute

Today is my niece Lindsey's birthday.  She is three today.  I hadn't planned to write about her birthday, but since this just happened, I thought it was too cute to not include here.

I called my sister's house so I could speak to Lindsey and wish her a happy birthday.  My brother-in-law called her over, saying, "Aunt Courtney wants to say hi to you."  Lindsey, so precious, got on the phone and said to me, "Happy Birthday, Aunt Courtney!"

I don't think she understands how this birthday thing works yet.

Too cute.

I love my nieces and nephews dearly.  It has been hard for me to live away from them, because they are so much a part of my life.  There has been a little hole in my heart since moving away.

Here's a picture of us that was taken in the summer before I got married.  It sits now next to Lindsey's bed.

Happy Birthday, Linds!

Ways I Save Money

I am a cheapskate.  Call me Ebenezer Scrooge if you like, but I like to keep my hard-earned pennies (or Brian's hard-earned pennies).  I don't mind being known as a frugal fanatic.

We are called to be good stewards of all the God has given us.  Brian and I try to be very careful with our dollars.  We routinely have budget meetings once a month, where we look at our spending in the last month, and we plan our spending for the next month.  Brian is a faithful follower and quite knowledgeable in regards to Dave Ramsey's financial instructions, and we follow his guidelines.  As a newly married couple, it's been great to get off to a healthy start.

While I'm no expert, I do have some ways that I save money.  I'm not a parent yet, and I'm sure some moms of five or six children are experts in saving money.  But, I'm thankful for this time, before we have little ones, to learn how to save money.  I will be prepared.

Here are some ways that I save:

• When it comes to shopping in department stores, I suggest knowing a store well.  Know their sales and their coupon system, and know the general layout of the store and where they have clearance items.  Sometimes it is in the most random of locations.  I shop clearance WHENEVER possible, whether it be for apparel or for home items.  Be prepared to take your time, and look all around so you can find those hidden gems on clearance.  When I was home for Christmas, I went shopping with my mom (on my home turf, where it is most familiar!), and we found decorative pillows on clearance for $1.99 at Boscovs.  We weren't even looking for them, but what a score!  I have COUNTLESS stories like this.  I'm an expert at getting clothes on clearance, and while I've never gone thrift shopping, the prices of my purchases come pretty close.  (One thing I like to do, is wait until I have a 30% Kohl's coupon, and then see what the clearance rack has.  I usually don't get any clearance item that isn't 80 or 90% off at Kohl's.  Combine it with the coupon, and I'm good to go!)
• This goes without saying, but clipping coupons is key.  We buy the Sunday paper at the dollar store, so we save a dollar when we buy it, and we get all the coupons, therefore, the paper pays for itself.  I then try to combine the coupons with a store sale or wherever I know I can get the cheapest price.  (For groceries, I go mainly to ShopRite in NJ, but I also get some things I know are cheaper at Walmart in PA.)  I actually live right across the street from a grocery store, but I rarely go there because they're rather pricey.
• I plan my meals in advance and know exactly what I am cooking and what I need to purchase for the week.  It takes the guesswork out of shopping, and I don't wander the aisles wondering what to get. Because of this, I also waste very little food.  When I plan my meals, I try only to buy two meat items a week, because they are expensive, and other nights I have pasta or rice dishes.
• I'm trying to make more of my favorite items at home.  I am proud to say I have not stepped foot into Dunkin Donuts (or any other coffee shop) since December.  I love lattes, but those couple of dollars spent each time really add up.  I now make my own lattes at home.  I don't have any fancy machine, just a stove and a microwave, so they're not quite as good, but they are good enough for me.  I also plan on making my own frappuccinos as the weather gets warmer.
• I probably would have never tried this a year ago, but I am now cutting my own bangs.  I like my bangs, and Brian does, too, but they grow like weeds.  Earlier this week, they were completely hanging down over my eyes.  (Not a pretty sight.)  I always get nervous cutting my bangs, because they are right there on my forehead and I can't very well hide it if I butcher them.  I can't even cut wrapping paper in a straight line.  But, in the name of saving money, I do it anyway.  And you know what?  They don't come out looking too bad.  It saves me at least $5 a month.  (I can't cut the rest of my hair, though.  I wish I could and save more money.)
• I take the time to hunt for the best deal, whatever it is, and I'm not afraid of returns!  I am the return queen, because often I buy something, only to find a better deal later.  I always keep my receipts for this reason.  I have saved quite a bit of money by doing this.  I also take the time to research items.  Perhaps an item might be cheaper, but this other item is a bit more money and is better quality, therefore my money is best spent in that direction.
• I keep looking for more ways to save.  I am currently looking into making my own laundry detergent.  I've found a "recipe" online, and it doesn't look hard at all!  What have I got to lose?

Those are just a few of the ways I am able to save at this season of life.  I'll look into further ways when we own our own home, and of course, when we have children.  Brian does not like shopping (at all), and I think I drive him crazy as I scan the shelves and compare products to see which one is cheapest.  Even though he hates waiting there, he appreciates my taking the time to save a few dollars.

And, if I ever buy anything for myself (such as clothes) I always tell him!  I never hide it, and I think that's the worst thing when people feel like they need to hide their purchases from their spouses.  I report it to him and tell him that if he wants me to return it, I will do so.  Last month, I bought a cute dress at T.J. Maxx for $3.  He didn't make me return it.

Now, our biggest challenge is house hunting, which we'll be starting soon.  We're praying for a bargain!  We'll see what happens!

Keeping House

I'm glad I grew up in a decade before technology had the ability to take over one's life.  When I was a child, I could still use my own imagination without relying on such things as touch screens, phones that talk back, and DVDs in the backseat of the car while on road trips.  (While in the backseat of the car, cramped between my older brother and sister, I would watch the wiper blides go back and forth, and I observed the patterns of the raindrops as they streamed down the window.  I was content.)

During the simplicity of childhood, I could be easily entertained.  I remember my sister and I, along with my neighbors, playing very simple games.  We didn't need much but our imagination.  Those games usually involved pretending to be an adult in one context or another, and I think I can finally say I've truly lived all those pretend games.

We played house, we played store, we had pretend weddings, and we may have even played school. My first two jobs in high school and college, I no longer played store, I lived it.  Oh, how I disliked it! It was much better when we pretended as children.  I became a teacher, and taught for six years, one year even in Europe, and it was harder than I had ever imagined.  I got married last August :), and that was better than any pretending.  And now I'm finally keeping house.

I'm sure people think I have an easy life right now.  I don't have children yet and I am merely taking care of my husband and my home.  I would have to agree that, yes, this period is much easier than times behind me, and I can guess the years before me.  That doesn't mean this period isn't any less important.  I believe that God is letting me relax from all the years of hard work, and at the same time, preparing me for what's to come.  I am using this time to develop better domestic skills and find my worth not in what I do, but simply in who I am.

I know that people do wonder what I do, and believe it or not, I do stay quite busy.  Just as in those days we played house, and I may have swept the deck to undergo the pretense of doing chores, I have plenty of daily household tasks that take center stage.  Some are harder here simply due to our lack of appropriate major appliances.

I have a love/hate relationship with doing laundry (only here, not under normal circumstances).  Brian lived in this apartment for five years before we married, and he didn't have a washing machine.  I was almost in despair upon marriage about having to go to the dreaded laundromat every time I wanted to wash something. In fact, we did go to the laundromat a couple of weeks after our honeymoon, and yikes, the total cost was around twenty-four dollars!  We knew that was like throwing money away, so we ended up purchasing a portable washing machine.

This little guy is my best friend.  He doesn't hold much, and I have to do small loads frequently, but at least I don't have to run to the laundromat every week.  (I couldn't take it because we've got a steep staircase up to our apartment.)

Next is our dryer, which really isn't ours, but our neighbor kindly loaned it to us.  It, too, is a small, portable machine.

I only use it one day a week, and that is to dry my sheets.  I do that every Friday, and it takes almost all day to get my sheets done from start to finish.  One of the reasons I only use it one day a week is because if we do anything else while it is on, like vacuum, or even use a hair dryer or iron, the fuse blows and we have to call our poor neighbor below us to deal with the circuit breaker.  So I hang our clothes to dry on our two drying racks, but it is tricky because I can't wash too much at once, or else there's no room to hang it.

(The shower makes a great place to dry Brian's shirts.)

Now on to washing dishes.  We do, in fact, have a dishwasher, but it, too is a portable machine, and it hooks into the kitchen faucet, so I can't use the sink when the dishwasher is running.  It takes so long, about two hours start to finish, and it doesn't do the best job, so I find that most of the time, it is more simple to wash dishes by hand.

It seems as though I am forever trying to organize this place.  Our humble home is small, and it is a bit too small for two people.  Many of my things are still in boxes because there's nowhere to unpack them, and it leaves me feeling a bit unsettled.  I am constantly trying to rearrange or reorganize, only to feel like I'm not really getting anything done.  It's the worst feeling, but I have to put up with it until we get a bigger place.  Some things do get accomplished in my efforts, but not as much as I would wish.  Right now I'm attempting to reorganize my husband's clothes, so we'll see how that goes. ;)

That is just a sample of the things I do and how I manage each day.  It's not always easy, and when I go home for a visit, my mom's washing machine seems enormous in comparison to mine. These little inconveniences may be annoying at times, but I am still grateful for God's many blessings and provisions.  I am glad to no longer be playing house, but living it, with all the good and the bad.  And yes, it is harder than I imagined as a child.  How did my mom make it look so easy? Lord willing, in time, I'll make it look easy to my future children, even though you and I will know the truth.

It'll be our secret. :)

Wedding Bands and Blog Title

I thought it would be a good thing to explain our blog title.  It comes from the Bible, of course, but it also comes straight from our wedding bands.

Brian and I picked out our wedding bands last July.  He wanted to go to the same place where he got my engagement ring.  I knew that my husband wanted matching rings, and I liked that idea, too, but as a female, I wanted to examine all my options.  I remember first thinking it would be nice to have a band with diamonds.  As the salesperson was telling us that when the ring is worn without the engagement ring, it is nice to have some diamonds on it.  I thought that might be true, for about two seconds.

There is something so lovely about a plain, simple wedding band.  A circle with no embellishments, nothing at all to catch one's eye or even provoke a compliment.  As I tried on various wedding bands, there was something about the plain band which spoke to me of what marriage really is.  I think marriage is more about the simplicity of the everyday routine than the occasional candlelight dinner or walk at sunset.  Marriage is seeing someone when they first wake up in the wee hours of the morning, without any help from cosmetics, hair products, or even a toothbrush.  Marriage is seeing the person you have chosen to cleave to in their worst moments.  We may hide our faults before others, but can we hide the yuckiest parts of our hearts from our mate?  Someone wise once told me that marriage is like looking in a mirror, for it is in that relationship that we truly see who we are.

In that moment, standing at the counter in the jewelry store, I may not have thought of all of this as clearly as I am writing it now, but I did think for a brief moment that a plain band reflected just what the marriage relationship is:  a celebration of walking through life with the one you love during life's most mundane moments as well as the grand.  It's about loving someone with all their faults and allowing yourself to show yours, without putting on airs.

So Brian got his wish that day.  Our bands are plain, but they look alike, except for size, of course. :)  Then the salesman turned to us and asked what we wanted engraved on our rings.  We both looked at each other and realized the thought hadn't occurred to us at all!  Our nice salesman said we could get back to him in a few days while we decided.

It didn't take us long.  We already had this verse on our wedding program, and we thought it would be appropriate on our rings.  After all, why get married if either party is not better off than before?  I am better because Brian has qualities that I need and vice-versa.  We are better together than we are alone.  Christ molds and shapes us individually through the example of the other.  We extend grace and forgiveness to one another continuously, much like our Savior does for us every hour.

I'll leave you with a few words from Henry Van Dyke's poem, "A Mile With Me."

And who will walk a mile with me
Along life's weary way?
A friend whose heart has eyes to see
The stars shine out o'er the darkening lea,
And the quiet rest at the end o' the day,--
A friend who knows, and dares to say,
The brave, sweet words that cheer the way
Where he walks a mile with me.

With such a comrade, such a friend,
I fain would walk till journeys end...

Snow Day

Well, finally.  I had been waiting for this day for a long time.  An unplanned day off for my husband. Freedom from the stresses of work (for him).  Several extra hours of much needed sleep (for him and for me- I get up with him, too).  A day to relax and unwind together that came as an unexpected surprise.

Before marriage, Brian and I lived in different states.  Last year and the year before, we would always chat on the way to work.  We commuted at about the same time, so he usually called me.  If I didn't hear from Brian, and if I tried to call him and his cell was off, there was usually one reason.  He either had a delay or a snow day.  I would grumble at the unfairness of it all as I sleepily made my way to school, and I immediately checked his school website to see what the status was. Let's just say that he had a lot more delays and days off than I did.

So I couldn't wait, now that we're married, for that glorious day, or perhaps, many days, that we would unexpectedly have to spend together.  After all, we live in the Pocono region, and the past two winters were vicious.  Surely we would have lots of snow days together.

I waited, and waited.  I gave up hope, since this was turning out to be a remarkably and unseasonably warm winter, but my disappointment was appeased when I discovered that Brian's school has "Give Back" days, which are the unused snow days that administration has already scheduled in, and therefore, are given back to the students.  What a wonderful thing!  At my old school, we had one (maybe) if we were fortunate, but they have quite a few in this region.  He already had one this past Tuesday and there are more on schedule for next month.

I accepted this turn of events.  If we weren't going to have a snow day, at least he'd get some days off for all of our disappointment.

But then... a weather report of a winter advisory... and a phone call... the first phone call alerted us to a two-hour delay.  Two hours and another phone call later, we heard the long-awaited news. School was closed!  Allelujah!

I had to make plans quickly.  This was unexpected.  A snow day always calls for some baked goods.  (I love to bake, but I try to hold myself back from baking all the time, since it is just the two of us, and I don't wish for Brian and I to weigh one thousand pounds.)  Brian's parents had made us a "snow day kit" as part of our Christmas gift, but we already ate all the chocolate, and I made the blueberry muffins because I had given up on the elusive snow day.  What to do?  I couldn't even make the chili provided in the kit because I used my ground beef last night for dinner.

Well, the weather really wasn't all that bad, in fact, we didn't have much snow.  We were not snowbound in the least, so off we went to Walmart for some walnuts.  Banana bread just tastes so much better with a little bit of nuts.

In truth, I like snow days better when one is truly snowbound while the snow comes down in buckets and there is nothing to do but drink hot chocolate and watch movies.  It wasn't quite that kind of day, but it still was wonderful, and I got to enjoy a rare weekday home with my husband.

I am satisfied.

Valentine's Day With The One I Love

Brian and I had a wonderful Valentine's Day together.  It began in the morning with a card I had ready for him at breakfast.

All day I looked forward to Brian's return from work.  When he came home I had presents waiting for him.

I got him a tan sweater vest.  (I LOVE sweater vests for men and I have gotten three for Brian since being married and I got him one or two while dating.)  Thankfully, he likes them, too.

I also got him the movie "Courageous", which is a Christian movie about the responsibilities of fatherhood, and I got him the first season of "The Andy Griffith Show", which he also loves.  (I think I really surprised him there!)

He bought me some delicious chocolates from a homemade candy shop downtown, and he also got me a beautiful pair of ruby earrings (which I forgot to photograph).  I don't deserve them, and he is too good to me.

We went to dinner at a Chinese restaurant that Brian picked out.  The food was fantastic.  We rarely go out to eat because cooking at home is much cheaper, so this was a treat.  I dressed up a little and Brian kept his nice work clothes on, and I have to say we looked pretty good!

This was our third Valentine's Day together as a couple, but the best by far.  There is something about being married which gives one security and confidence.  I could enjoy Valentine's Day while thinking to myself, "This really is my Valentine. He's not just my Valentine for the day; he's my Valentine every day, and I get to enjoy him all my days." And you know what?  I wouldn't trade him for anything.

I love you, my darling!

(I'm not sure what was going on with the lighting here.)

On Being a Housewife

It's quite a contrast between the life I am now living to the life I left behind last August.  For six years, I worked as a teacher- one year in the Czech Republic and five at a private Christian school back home in NJ.  Even before that, I had a couple of different jobs after college.  I worked as a financial aid adviser at a seminary for a year, then I worked as a legal secretary.

When I meet people here in PA for the first time, or even when I talk to people I already know, some are surprised to see that I am not working.  It would be one thing if I had a child to care for, but as I have none at this time, it sure looks odd in this century for a newly married woman to stay home while her husband does all the work.

People wonder, I am sure, what in the world I do all day.  Well, I sit with my feet up, of course, sipping iced tea with one of those little umbrellas sticking out of the top!

My job for the past five years was very demanding.  Being a teacher is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and being a literature teacher is one of the most demanding disciplines due to the nature of the work.  Grading stacks of papers is no easy task, and it is one that took me hours on end.  As a teacher, I felt my students deserved the best from me as I graded, so I would read papers not once, but twice to be sure I agreed with my own grade.  I often commented to my mom that if I were married, my poor husband would be starved and neglected, because my work kept me so busy.  I may have physically left my job at 3:30, but the hours I spent home doing additional work was countless, and no one could understand this unless they were a teacher themselves, and specifically, a literature or writing teacher.

Since I had to move to PA once Brian and I married, leaving my job was a necessity.  But I knew I didn't want to do that kind of work here, where dinner each night would be a free-for-all, or a quick trip to local fast food restaurants.  I knew I wanted to give my husband my best each day, and support him as much as I could.  My goal is to make his life easier because I am here.

When did a two-income family become a MUST?  As a housewife, I may not be churning butter and milking the cows, but I do a lot to take care of my husband, my home, and simply learn more domestic skills.  It wasn't until the feminism movement that the great majority of women started to step outside of the home.  I've been there already.  I've done that.  I'm happily embracing this new chapter in my life.

I use this time to learn how to live on less and make dollars stretch.  I clip coupons and search for the better deal.  I waste very little food because I know what I am cooking each week and I don't buy what I don't need.  I compare prices and many times choose store brand over the big name (and I'm learning that often there isn't a difference in taste).  I contemplate every purchase, deciding what is really worth it and what isn't.

When it comes to clothes shopping, there I shine.  I am a bargain-hunter, and I am quite good at getting a lot for a ridiculously insane low price.  Now that I am not working, I don't buy much for myself at all, but when I do, rest assured, the prices are as low as thrift store prices (better in some cases), though brand new.  And even for my dear hubby, I am able to find remarkably good deals (ex:  ties for $2.77 each).

I am also getting good at finding deals for the home.  Curtains under $3.00?  Check.  Several pillows for $1.99 each?  Check.  One of my goals of shopping is never paying more than I have to.

Brian tells me time and again that he likes that I am home.  Because I don't work, I take care of things around here and leave little for him to worry about.  I get up with him at 5:20, pack his lunch, prepare his breakfast, and stand at the door ready to kiss him goodbye.  I'm listening for him when he returns, running to the door when I hear him coming, and greeting him with a hug and a kiss.  I have a hot meal ready and waiting for him.

To me, this is priceless, and well worth it.  I love serving my husband and taking care of him, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.  If that time comes where I need to go to work, as long as we have no children, then I will.  But for now, I am relishing my days, enjoying the greatest job I've ever had.