But, as I said in my last post, ready or not, here I come!
This photo was a bit backlit, so we took another. Photographers, Brian and I are not.
If you are thinking, "Whoa, she is huge!", I feel exactly the same way! I keep looking at my belly, wondering where in the world the rest of it will go. I am definitely bigger at this time than I was with Caleb, and he was 8 lbs. 12 oz.! Good grief! I was really hoping for a lighter baby, because he was not easy to push out!
Let's just say I am dreading the rest of the summer, because if it is this hot now, imagine how it will be in August when I am even more enormous. The cold winter we just endured is looking better and better.
I celebrated my second official Mother's Day today, but my third if you count my first "unofficial" Mother's Day, as Caleb came two days after. Brian gave me a beautiful flat of begonias which we have put on the deck, and I can enjoy looking at them each day. He also bought me a box of chocolates, and I received two lovely cards- one from my husband, and the other from Caleb.
To be honest, I really didn't feel like celebrating Mother's Day this year. I am hard on myself, yes, but I am going through a difficult time in motherhood. The newness has worn off, and I see all of my shortcomings always before me. Many days I have labeled myself the "worst" mother in the world. Perhaps that is far from the truth, but I am far from the best. It is a beautiful holiday, but I have yet to truly feel like it is "mine". I still have much to learn.
However, I am immensely thankful for my Caleb. I remember the many Mother's Days in which I wondered if I would ever be a mother. Now I am more than thankful to have my Caleb and a brand new baby kicking inside of me. I am grateful.
(Blurry, yes, are these last two photos!)
